I have a guestbook!

Hey! To all of those who read this blog (if anyone reads this blog!) I just got myself a guestbook and I'd love it if you'd sign it once in a while if you feel so inclined! Tell me what you think about what I'm saying, whether you like it, agree with it or disagree with it and think I'm full of crap! I'd love to hear what anyone has to say =) The link is at the top right of the page and titled appropriately, "Sign My Guestbook!" Go for it!

Phillipians 1:15-18

I have recently heard some critcisms of the Mel Gibson Film "The Passion of Christ" and I feel burdened to defend it. I watched the interview with Mel on NBC, or ABC, or whatever it was-that's not the point. Anyway, from that interview I saw a genuine man who had a deep faith and also admitted to being human and making mistakes every moment of every day. I saw a man whose life has been touched by Christ's hope and redemption and I saw pure motives behind the making of this film. I agree that the actor who played Jesus was a little too caucasion, but Jesus was a Jew and it's possible he wasn't as dark as a middle eastern man. Although satan was played by a woman, she looked just as much like a man to me... I could go on commenting on each negative thing said but it really doesn't matter, we've been told not to engage in petty arguments by Christ anyway. What I really want to say is that even if all of the negative thoughts and comments are true, even if this was all just to make a buck, The true Passion of Christ from the gospels is being shown on that screen in a light that I feel is the most accurate ever to be put on film. I feel that Mel told Christ's story with a painful accuracy that is what our savior endured. Even if Mel's motives were not right, the message is getting out there and people are talking about their faiths more. I did not go to see this movie because of the hype, in fact I got rather sick of the hype. I wanted to see if God was going to work through this film in my life and I also wanted to see if it had potential to truly reach others. I left touched and inspired by seeing so vividly what Christ did for me. Even if Mel Gibson's motives were false, Paul said that doesn't really matter if the gospel is being preached: "It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of good will. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice" Phillipians 1:15-18

So do I, I rejoice that this film is out and I pray for all who see the it and pray that God will use it in a mighty way to advance His kingdom. His Word will not be returned void.

Not much to say

And Life Goes On

It's been so long since I've written that now Sophie weighs 16 pounds. I have no good excuse for why it's been so long since I've written. Perhaps its that not much of anything is happening. I don't want to start writing depressing blogs about how life after college isn't quite what we had expected, but, that is a piece of the truth. I think it's hitting Jason harder than myself. Yesterday his temporary job with Lifeway came to an end, and he looked like a little kid whose best friend had just moved away. That innocent sad face of dissapointment and the uncertainty of what to do next. I'm trying to encourage him and remind him of the promises God has given us about our futures, but sometimes I can almost feel hypocritical as I am fighting feelings of confusion and doubt about the future myself.

My big, smart plan was to substitute teach until I found a real job. Well, first it took a stinkin' month for my background check to get back. Now in the last two weeks of being available in their system they've only called my twice. One can understand why I'm no longer feeling confident about this "great" idea I had to substitute teach. Of course there have been interviews, but it's hard when you're interviewing for a job you know in 6 months you would hate going to. There's only one position I've sent my resume to that I'm really excited about and of course it's the one that hasn't set up an interview with me yet. When I spoke with them I was told I'd made it to the top ten and they would call me for an interview. Alas, it's been almost two weeks and not a word. So, do I call and sound overly eager or even desperate? (because I am, but I can't let them know that!) They should offer a course in school called "reality". In this class we would learn that our college degree really means nothing. Employers that really count also want five years of experience. If everyone is looking for this experience then how does anyone get the experience? Entry level positions don't seem to exist anymore, and if they do it's as a salesman, as Jason has found out.

And then there's music. We're making it, but will anyone want to listen to it?

I realize now that up until this point I thought I was living life focused on the right things by working hard in school, making great friends, and building a relationship with the Lord. I see now that although those things were great and important, I should have put more into the Lord than school or anything else. In an instant all of those things are gone, and He's all you have left. Even with a husband. I feel like I am being tested. It's like I'm a year-old infant and my father (God) has let go of my hand so I can see that I can walk on my own. It's okay if I stumble, but it hurts us both. I have what I need to walk, now I just need to believe.
Translation of another Natalie metaphore, God has given me passion and certain abilities. The days of learning how to use them are over. He wants me to use them, he wants me to walk. It's time. My explanation may not make sense. Well, I know what I'm trying to say. Fear is not of God or from God. It should not have any part in our decisions or our aspirations. In times of uncertainty such as just graduating, moving away and getting marrtied, fear is an easy and familiar pillow to put my face in. But I know that if I keep it there it will only smother me. Life is to short not to go for your passions and to important to not use the time to practice what God has created you to do for eternity.

I think I've had too much time to read too many books and now my theology/philosophy has gotten a little jumbled. I'll try to make things clearer next entry. If anything, you are seeing my state of mind through my writing and it's a little scattered to say the least. Until next time. For those who understand, I am The Poisonwood Bible, according to the test. It's scary how accurate the description was. buh-bye

Life with Sophie

Sophie weighs 11 pounds, has floppy white and brown ears, and will make you fall in love with her in 9.2 seconds. This mutt (literally) has entered our home and our hearts and we're having so much fun having a puppy. I just love how everyone smiles when they see a puppy. It doesn't matter who they are or what they were in the middle of. When you walk by with a little white ball of energy with those big puppy eyes and her little puppy gut, not one person can resist breaking into a big smile. I think recieving a puppy kiss is all some people need to have a good day. In fact, I think we should start making it mandatory that puppies and dogs hang out in office buildings, and especially at stressful meetings, so that people will be in a lighter mood. It's hard to get too angry at one of those faces- even when it poos on your carpet. Just a thought.

So, I went to my orientation for substitute teaching and I was all excited to get started this week, but no. My criminal background check hasn't come back yet so I can't start yet =( I applied in December for goodness sakes! I don't understand what's taking so long, and I'm running out of important things to do every day. I'm afraid Sophie is going to have quite a shock when Jason and I are really gone all day at work because right now she's getting so much attention from us! Oh well. Yesterday I went to a college-to-career fair with Jason that his college was a part of. I felt so incredibly awkward. All of these businesses were there and that is just SO not what I'm interested in. There was a place called Youth Villages that works with troubled kids. So, I'm looking into possibly working with them. For some reason I don't think I want to work in social services at all, but that's what I have a degree in so I need to at least check out some possibilities right?! Can someone please just hand me a recording contract now? Please! I'm free, I'm ready, let's go. At this point, even being a background vocalist for Inglbert Humperdink is looking real attractive.

I want to make good music so bad. I must say, there just are not enough female vocalists out there who are a part of the great music. My favorite music comes from Coldplay, Radiohead, badly drawn boy, Jeff Buckley, The Cure, Bob Dylan, Lou Reed, Elliot Smith.... all of these GUYS. Come on! There are some great women out there like Sarah McLaughlin, Dido, Patti Griffin, Alison Kraus, but they're not really rocking. I guess Evanescence is rocking, but kind of annoying at the same time. I don't know, I went CD shopping today and just found myself frustrated that it's so hard to find women voices in quality rock. I want to be that woman! I'm working on it. Until then, I'll just keep playing songs to Sophie.