Oh Crap

So, I just wrote a blog, and then tried to publish it, but the site has a completely new format. When you hit publish, you lose your blog. I am now upset and will try to blog tomorrow. Poop.

Third graders can be quite a frikin' handful

Hi, my name is Mrs. Wilson and I will be your teacher today. (Please don't give me a hard time) They never really follow through on that request. I've become quite the popular subsitute at Chadwell Elementary and I keep wondering how this happened. I don't particularly like elementary school kids. I would take high school over elementary school any day and if I was called for a Kindergarten job, I would flat out refuse it. Those kids are crazy, you don't even know. Beginning last Tuesday I became Mrs. Hudson, the third grade teacher. She asked me to teach for her Tuesday through Friday, the principal had recommended me. Okay.... This class had a reputation and I can see why. I finished on Friday relieved and a little exhausted, but proud of myself because other teachers told me that I had more control of the class than their regular teacher! But, oh the cruel joke, it was not over. I was called yesterday and the woman I guess decided she liked time off a lot. So, I begrudgingly accepted the assignment for ms. hudson's class today and tomorrow because I didn't want to put some poor unsuspecting sap substitute through hell the next two days with a challenging class and no lesson plans. Why am I a nice person?
It actually makes me sad because they're really not bad kids at all. They've been told that they are bad all year by their miserable teacher who needs to retire, and now they believe it and don't try to be any better. It's sad. These kids are already giving up on themselves and they're nine years old. I don't know if its silly to hope that I can make a difference in their lives in one week and one day, but I'm trying as I'm stifling the screams that want to come out when one child is out of his seat AGAIN!!!!! And "she called me Biscuit, or Big Nose, or Stinky, or whatever the heck insult bothers a third grader", is called my way for the 100th time. I'm telling them they are good kids, and I'm trying to prove it to them every day with mercy, consequences only when they deserve it, and rewards when they deserve it, and sometimes even when they don't. I like to give them a break. Anyway, I'm not sad that tomorrow is my last day with them, but I am sad that their futures might already be jaded by one burnt out teacher.

I saw Patty Griffin in the rain on Saturday at River Stages here in Nashville. Inspiring to say the least. I could listen to her all day. It made me really excited to play on May 14th at the Artisan- come one come all! (shameless self promotion)

Its been a while

Time slips by so quickly and quietly at times. I feel like I've had to have missed a few days or something for it to already be April 21st. I just saw part two of Kill Bill and it was fabulous- if you don't mind some gory revenge. For some reason I find great movies such as this one, even with its violence, inspiring. I understand movies. I can usually tell where they're going next and the thought behind the plot. I find myself getting so involved usually that it takes me at least an hour to shake the characteristics of the main character from seeping into my own state of mind and point of view. I get so lost in the movie that if I don't pay close attention to reality, the plot takes over. It's fun to get so swept up, and I've always joked that I'm very easily entertained.
I wish finding a profession- a vocation, a purpose in life- came as easily as getting swept up in the plot and main character of a great movie; or at least just going for what you know is your purpose without fear, hesitation, and the distraction of other important dreams that it's not time for yet.
Life is steadily trucking along. I'm subbing every day. There's only one month of school left and what the summer holds is still unknown. I may be a nanny, if anyone will have me. I think it would be good to spend my summer with a couple kids to remind myself why it's not time for us to have them yet! We have our first show booked: May 14th at the Cherry Street Artisan in Columbia, MO. We're excited and putting our songs together into what will hopefully be an enjoyable, thought provoking, and maybe even slightly new yet wonderfully different musical experience. One can dream anyway. My first priority is playing and singing at the same time without making a blubbering fool of myself. I can sing and play with perfection in my apartment, but what will I do when I face my first real crowd with our original stuff? I'd like to believe I'll hold it together and thrive on the excitement like none other that comes through playing and singing to a crowd from my heart. With many prayers in my heart I will take the stage in the first show of what we hope will be many, many to come. May 14th! Until then, practice makes perfect.
Jason is valet parking now and I'm thrilled to have a second income to my fabulous substitute teaching gig. It's not that subbing doesn't bring in the big bucks, I mean come on of course it does! It's just that it will be nice to have that fabulous "cushion". I'm so full of it. Okay, I need to go to bed. Chow

All Hail the XBox

There is something that I don't understand and that is males and video games. Jason got himself an XBox last June as a present to himself for his 21st birthday. I remember really liking the nintendo I got when I was 8 and the supernintendo that followed a couple years later. However, now at 22, I'm pretty much over it. I'll play with Jason sometimes in his sport games or the occassional Tetris, but after a game or two I'm sick of it. Jason bought the new splinter cell last night. It's a game where you're a ninja. It's the sequel to the first splinter cell which Jason has beaten twice. Now, at every opportunity this grown man is glued to his game and it really enthralls me. Jason is not the only man with a love of his game system. I don't know if every man takes the game so seriously that they want to be a ninja like Jason is telling me, but I've seen other guys with this same behavior. I heard myself ask a question to Jason this afternoon that I'm positive my mother asked me as a child, "How can you play that thing for so long?" I couldn't believe the words came out of my mouth. So, now I'm trying to get in touch with that inner child that used to find pure bliss in sitting in front of my supernintendo and beating mario world. I will say I still enjoy a good game of mario cart, but who doesn't I mean come on!

I love the spring. It is beautiful here! Absolutely stunning. Spring comes early in Nashville and I am digging it. I took Sophie for a long walk today through a nearby neighborhood that I love. Most of the homes look pretty old, but it's a fantastic subdivision and the houses are kept up very nicely. All of the flowering trees were in bloom and little pink petals covered the sidewalks I was walking on. There was the smell of fresh cut grass and the trees are becoming that fabulous spring green color. It was a great walk on a great day. If we ended up raising a family in Nashville I'd love to live in a neighborhood just like that. It's been a good day. How could it not be with beautiful weather. It seems like no matter how hard things are in my life at times, if it's a beautiful day I feel all right. Spring has come, God's still in control, life is good.