Friends

I am continually humbled and thankful to have friends who are so much more generous, intelligent, thoughtful and talented than me.

O Heart Bereaved and Lonely

1. O heart bereaved and lonely,
Whose brightest dreams have fled
Whose hopes like summer roses,
Are withered crushed and dead
Though link by link be broken,
And tears unseen may fall
Look up amid thy sorrow,
To Him who knows it all

2. O cling to thy Redeemer,
Thy Savior, Brother, Friend
Believe and trust His promise,
To keep you till the end
O watch and wait with patience,
And question all you will
His arms of love and mercy,
Are round about thee still

3. Look up, the clouds are breaking,
The storm will soon be o'er
And thou shall reach the haven,
Where sorrows are no more
Look up, be not discouraged;
Trust on, whate'er befall
Remember, O remember,
Thy Savior knows it all

Mundane

My house is clean. The dishes are done and put away. All 4 members of the family have clean laundry that is folded and in the proper drawers. Why does success at the mundane mean so much? I seriously can breathe easier today than I could yesterday.

Counseling is rocking my life, in a good way, but in a "can we please get this over with as soon as possible?" kind of way. The best way to describe where I'm at right now is in the lyrics of a Waterdeep song:

When you feel like the days just drone on and on and on,
And you feel like the nights seem quickly gone.
On the inside you feel like your heart's just gaping wide.
On the inside you feel like no one's on your side. Well, I AM.

When you thought you could rest but you found out you were wrong
And there's another mean, another battle, another one more thing that comes along
On the inside you hear the fall, but you hate the falling sound
On the inside, you can't pick another broken piece up off of the ground.
Well, I know.

Hush little baby, don't say a word
Daddy's gonna buy you a great big heaven to rest in
He's bought it with blood, He put this seal in your heart
It will give you the hope you need to get up and start, again.

When all the things you thought you left behind are still hanging on
And everything you try to do right just ends up all wrong
And on the inside everyone else seems basically fine
But on the inside, even they won't let go of the dead and cling to what's alive
Well, I AM

And of course as I'm overwhelmed by emotions, Isaac is getting his front teeth in, Amelia is clingy, and Jason is doing a crazy all day adventure race tomorrow. Not to mention this seems to be the weekend of Christmas parties. Deep Breath. Release. Repeat =)

Words I'm Trying To Live By

"In quietness and in trust shall be your strength." Isaiah

I read yesterday that there is a "slow" movement going on in America. Slow food, slow parenting, slow business management. It struck me as funny that it's labeled as a new movement. In my eyes, it's a return to wiser ways from the past that we have lost sight of.

Whenever I read the Bible I rarely feel challenged to do more. Instead I leave with a greater challenge to do less and trust more. spend more time being still, spend more time listening, more time being quiet.

" be still and know that I am God"

"and Jesus went off to a solitary place to pray."

I type this with a baby in my arms and a preschooler asking for Halloween candy at 8am. Slow and quiet sounds amazing. I desire that kind of strength like never before.