Still going strong

So begins week four of classes and still in deep. Luckily, I'm not drowning, just swimming like the dickens to keep my head above water. It's been great strengthening the old ties of Columbia and getting used to it once more as home. It's hard to believe that all of this really will come to an end. The thought is comforting, exciting, and downright nerve racking.

As a child I remember thinking about my future. I wasn't one of those little girls planning my wedding at the age of four, I was much more concerned with tree climbing techniques. However, I did imagine myself going to college and then getting married, but that's really where it stopped. I think it's tangible territory-college and marriage- because we see it so much growing up and it's drilled into our little heads that that's what you do with your life. However, what you do after these things is anybody's best guess. I feel like I can imagine every detail up to January 9th, maybe even into the honeymoon a bit, but even that's a blur. After January 9th it all goes blank. Really, it's a big duh, um, er, well...oh boy. Yeah, that's pretty much what I've got. Good stuff huh? The older I've gotten the more I've realized that no one really knows what they're doing. People might act like they've got it together but you know what, at night they're uttering a prayer of desperation just to make it through another day. We don't know what the heck we're doing, but we keep on trecking, keep on searching. Searching for that purpose, that destiny, the reason we were created in the first place. I guess my problem is that I'm still not sure what the answer is, and I'm not sure I ever will. A big thing I've learned from engagement is it kills me to know what's coming next when next is not the near future. So, maybe God is doing this on purpose. Maybe I can't know what's next yet because if I did it would kill me to not be doing it!

All I really know is that I still want to sing and write music with Jason more than anything else in this entire world and if God's plan was rock stardom I would truly be the happiest woman on earth. So maybe that means something. I know God places burning passions that won't let up no matter how hard you try to shake them off for a reason. What is it? I guess I just have to wait and see. Until next time...