12.14.2006

I am now a 9 pounder!

Hey everyone, Amelia is now 9 pounds and 1 ounce. That means she is really big, see...

She is starting to experiment with punk rock hairstyles, it is a way for her to express herself...
She is also beginning to go on walks with her mom, sometimes, like this picture, her mom carries her, but about halfway they trade and mom gets in the bjorn.
After a long walk she is really tired.

Amelia told me to tell you guys "peace out an rock on" she also made a cool symbol with her hand when she told me that but I did not get it on film, sorry.

12.01.2006

Big Storm

Pretty to look at, but not so pretty for cars and airplane travel

Not so sure I like the tummy-time. Being a baby is rough
Check out my tongue. Cool huh?
What are you laughing at? I love my faux-hawk
Hi, I'm cute.

11.30.2006

Details

Hey friends! I just realized Jason never posted Amelia's birthweight and length. For those who care about such details, she was 7lbs 9oz and 20 3/4" long. She's a stringbean! I can't believe how much she's changed in just two weeks. She looks more like Jason every day!


It's a good thing we got some outside time in, today it's snowing!

11.21.2006

New Pictures

Here are some more pictures of, who else, Amelia...from the ride home, to the first bath.




11.17.2006

Meet the newest Wilson!!!

Hey everyone, Today, November 17th at 3:15pm Natalie gave birth to Amelia Noel Wilson.
I am sure Natalie will talk much more about this later, but until then, here are the pictures!!!
Jason




11.13.2006

Breaking News

Well, of course the last ultrasound I get we actually could see the gender of this baby! And....
It's a girl! Amelia Noel So, congrats to all of those who voted for a girl, you were right. I'll have you know I was one of those voters =) I'm pretty excited and I think Jason is too, maybe just a little shocked though! I sure hope she comes soon

Update

Alright, it's week 38 and baby Wilson is still inside - hopefully not too much longer now. I've had high blood pressure the last couple of doctor's visits and I've been getting a tad bit swollen so I had to collect my urine for 24 hours last week. If any of you ever get the chance to experience such bliss as collecting a jug of your own urine, I'll rejoice with you. Anyhoo, unfortunately, I have borderline symptoms of a condition called pre-eclampsia. Basically, it makes your blood vessels constrict and things go a bit haywire. If it's severe they get the baby out asap. I don't have the condition, I'm just moving towards it, so I'm really hoping this baby is ready to make an appearance! Today I'm having an ultrasound to make sure I still have enough amniotic fluid and I have to take a non-stress test each week until I deliver. These are just precautions, but it's making it feel like these last two weeks could drag on forever! I'm 2.5cm dialated and 80% effaced now so I really hope that means the baby will come this week. You just can't predict these things dangit.

Jason and I are trying to make the most of our last days as just us, not mommy and daddy with baby. We're going on walks to the coffee shop, catching a movie or two - all the things we can do on a whim now that won't be quite so simple pretty soon. His parents were here this weekend and they so wanted the baby to come while they were here! Of course things never work out that perfectly. Everyone is just so eager to meet this little one, it's getting a little crazy. So, hopefully it will be soon but I'm confident it won't happen until the time is just right for baby, and that's how it should be. If I have the time, when I do go into labor I'll put a quick post up to let everyone know. If my water breaks while we're out somewhere or something crazy like that, I'll just post as soon as I can and of course, put up a picture!

11.02.2006

A Thug with Choral Music

I've learned from living in urban areas for the past few years, never to leave anything valuable in your car. In Nashville, we learned it was better to leave the car unlocked because then if someone decides to break in, they don't have to break anything. This was espcially important with Jason's soft-top Jeep, but one idiot slashed the window before checking the door. Ah, criminals.
Anyway, this morning while taking the trash can to the curb I noticed my car insurance card on the sidewalk. Upon returning it to the center console I discovered some person, who smells funny, had gone through my console while I slumbered last night. As I said above, I never leave anything of remote value in my car. Spare change, insurance card and sunglasses. That's about it. I think he did take the $5 ladies sunglasses. Whatever.
However, I did have a couple burnt cd's in there from a road trip and they are now in the hands of the thug. iTunes has made this so not a big deal, because I still have the music, I'll just have to burn another cd, big whoop. So, the cd's I happened to have in my car? Jimmy Eat World, Ben Folds, and here's the fun part, 2 Christmas Choral Cd's! My good sense tells me that once this person reads the writing on these burnt cd's, he won't even give it a listen, but I really hope he'll be compelled from curiosity and that this new discovery of peaceful Christmas Choral music will soften his persona, will change his heart, will lead him to a new path in life. Perhaps he'll knock on my door during this holiday season donning a santa cap and tell me how much my choral music changed his life and he just had to let me know. And then he'll save a kitten from being hit by a car and give a baby a candy cane... All because he went through my car and found not a wallet, not an ID, not even a dollar's worth of change - he found choral music. Ah.

10.29.2006

9 months!


I am now 36 weeks - 9 months - pregnant. Hooray! 37 weeks is full-term, so even though my due date is November 25th, I could have the baby anytime from Saturday on and it wouldn't be a pre-mature baby. At the doctor on Thursday I was 1cm dialated and 50% effaced. For those of you who this means nothing to, your cervix thins out prior to labor and that's called effacment and your cervix dilates in labor to 10cm. So, my cervix is 50% out of the way and 1 of the 10cm it needs to get to to be fully dliated - that's when you start to push. At about 3 or 4cm you are considered to be in active labor and going from 1cm-3cm can be a matter of weeks or a matter of days, you never know. So, once I get to Saturday I'm planning on doing lots of deep squatting to encourage this baby to come on down! I have a baby shower today and hopefully we'll get everything we need to feel like we're ready for baby Wilson to come home. Jason and I both are really sick of this pregnancy thing because I've basically been pregnant for over a year now - we only had 7 weeks between the two pregnancies, 6 of which my hormones were recovering during. Hello! So, we're so ready to get the pregnant part behind us and have some fun with a little one! I'm also ready to lose this belly. I feel pretty fortunate that besides the belly my body is staying relatively the same size. People have told me I'll never get into my old pants, but I disagree wholeheartedly! Those same people told me my shoe size would change and so far, my shoes still fit! Anyway, that's enough of a rant. We're really excited and so eager to meet this kid and to find out what it is! Hopefully it will be sooner than later

10.09.2006

Honest Thoughts

I could have this baby in 4 weeks. This excites me so, so much but I'm sorry to admit that my excitement has to fight its way through a thick layer of fear. For Jason, his fear lies in becoming a father - wondering if he's mature enough, selfless enough, and knowing he's not at all knowledgable when it comes to taking care of one of these things. For me the baby part is what I'm excited about. I know how to give baths, change diapers, swaddle.... There are some unknowns such as, will this breastfeeding thing kill me or can I do it? Can I really have a natural childbirth? (I hope so) I'm already so tired getting up to pee multiple times a night, how much harder will it be to have to get up a feed a child and then hope it's feeling tired! So, there are some worries, doubts, but overall I'm excited about taking on motherhood. The fear for me is deep and it's dark and I have to fight it every day, usually throughout day. I'm deathly afraid something is going to go horribly wrong. That once again, there will be no baby to bring home. I've never faced something in my life that I'm not sure how I would overcome, how I would eventually return to myself after. This is so far beyond me that it chills me to the core.

In August some friends of ours in Colorado had a stillborn baby. She had had some complications in her pregnancy, but her doctor had felt confident the baby would be okay. Getting that phone call that little Lucy had died shook me to the core of my being and I think inside I'm still shaking. We had our first baby shower on Saturday and while I was very excited I was also, and still am, so guarded. I have to fight the thoughts of these baby things becoming a knife that stabs my heart if I have to come home without our little one. Our friends had to come home to a nursery, painted, decorated, clothes in the closet, diapers in the changing table. I don't think I could do that. I just feel like I would die - if not in body than in soul and spirit.

And so I fight. I fight to let myself be excited about setting up the changing table we were given, about finishing the painting I've started for our precious one, to look at the bassinett with anticipation instead of trepidation. I fight because I already love this little one so, so much and I don't want him/her to sense anything but that love from me. If you're a praying person, I covet your prayers - for this baby's health and safe passage into this world, and for this mama, who is fighting so hard to believe this amazing miracle is really going to happen and that this blessing can really come true. I feel like no woman has ever wanted a child so badly, but I'm sure most mothers feel this way. So, I fight the fear and I choose to hope. Hope and trust are all I have, and I cling to them with a firm grip because without them I fall apart.

9.28.2006

Cast Your Vote

Now's your chance to exercise your right to vote before this November! Let me know what you think this baby is - I'm certainly curious!










What is Baby Wilson?


Boy







Girl










Current results





As soon as I figure out the best way to track results, we'll be surveying your guesses for weight, lenght and arrival date. Let the voting begin!

9.27.2006

The Mystery Continues

We got to have an ultrasound today! Everything looks good with the baby's development. The estimated weight was 4lbs 5oz, which is a tad big! So, I'm hoping that means this baby will come a little early rather than me having to deliver a 9 pounder! We were hoping we'd be able to find out the gender today, but I had a feeling baby wouldn't cooperate. It's been lying in pretty much the same cozy spot for a month now, which is with it's head down (good thing) and its bootie and back facing out on my left side. It was that way today, so once again bootie was evident, the goods, hidden. Poor Jason was pretty bummed. He wants to know so bad. I have some friends who are sure it's a boy and some who are equally as sure it's a girl. I'm pretty confused myself. So, we just get to wait a little bit longer. Maybe only 6 weeks if it's a little early. Perhaps I'll set up a survey online. Erica, can you teach me? We'll do a survey and I'd love some name suggestions, either gender. I am positive this baby will not have a name until I see it face to face, but I'd like to have a top 3 for both genders. Look for these exciting additions soon, hopefully

9.21.2006

An attempt to abandon vanity

August 17th - check out my new outie



So, here are the most recent pictures of my daily expanding waistline (I don't think I technically have a waist at this time - but it will return, someday!)

Here I am at 30 weeks, and today almost 31!

9.01.2006

Labor Day Weekend Hooplah

We're off to Cozumel for the weekend! Who knew we'd celebrate labor day with such pizzaz?
This weekend Jason's parents are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary and for some reason they want us to join them! So, we'll be down there relaxing, snorkeling, some diving for the non-pregnant folk and trying not to get burnt! Then on Monday I get to go to Seattle to visit Leslie and baby Catherine, yay! I can't wait to see the little one =)
So, I fully plan to put an updated belly shot on the blog. I tried to last week and my post got lost somewhere in cyberspace. I hate it when that happens. Then, the wireless internet signal we were "borrowing" from a neighbor got a password. So, I'm at the library posting and until we get our own internet, no belly pictures. It's getting bigger though! Tomorrow I'm 28 weeks, or in simple terms, 7 months. Pretty exciting. The baby should be a little over 2lbs and about 15 inches long! I feel so closterphobic for the poor little thing, there is not that much room in there!
So, after my trip a post should follow. The cable internet guys come on the 18th and then I can post pictures - or maybe at Leslie's.

Mexico here we come

8.17.2006

8.12.2006

HOORAY!

Camp is over. Last night's banquet confirms that this is not a dream and now I just want it to be Tuesday. I have some final camp "debriefs" to endure and then I am so out of here. Jason has been in St. Louis for nearly two weeks now and I can' t wait to join him and our pets. We did get to see eachother last weekend at Christina's wedding in Chicago. I'll post some pictures soon, along with some day camp shots so all can see what was my life for the last 10 weeks. It doesn't sound like that long of a time period, but when you hit the wall at week 6, 4 more weeks seems like an eternity. I'm just excited to return to some familiar places and people and for the new things coming our way in that place.
I know I've said this before and have fallen short, but I do plan to return to normal posting standards. I've got nothing but free time coming my way for the rest of August! It sounds too good to be true. Just gotta make it to Tuesday.

7.15.2006

Baby Belly



I'm not sure how thrilled I am to have my belly on the internet, but oh well, here it is. This was at 19 and 20 weeks respectively. Today I'm 21 weeks! The time is flying.

In other news, we've completed 6 of the 10 weeks of Day Camp already! It's amazing how fast the summer goes by. I won't pretend I'm sad it's going by so fast, I just don't have the patience and energy I did last summer. I'm blaming it on hormones. We have a really great staff and I feel so blessed by them, especially compared to last summer. They do a really good job and it helps me not have to work 12 hour days this time around. Jason will be moving to St. Louis in two weeks! He's starting Law School at St. Louis University August 16th. My camp ends August 11th and then I'll probably stick around Colorado Springs an extra week or so to wrap things up here. We've enjoyed Colorado Springs, especially the weather, but we miss our friends and churh in St. Louis a lot. We're pretty excited about the move. Law School takes three years so maybe we'll actually stay put in one place for more than 9 months! Hooray!

I'll try to get back to posting on a semi-regular basis now. Sorry!

5.11.2006

The Long Awaited Photos

Hey Friends. Sorry it took me so long to get these out, but here are our pictures from China, and one picture of our new little one! You can see the pictures at: http://homepage.mac.com/anyonehearing/

Enjoy!

5.02.2006

We Don't Worship the Same God

I guess I've been living under a rock because I just found out today that the same people who proudly (and inaccurately) declare "God hates fags" have been protesting military funerals. This group from a Baptist church in Topeka has always enraged me to my very core and today was the final straw. Obviously we know that these people are evil, but I'm going to show you why. I'm going to counter their views with the words of the God they claim to serve, but obviously don't know. To see the God that I love so much so badly misrepresented and His words twisted to promote evil makes me so angry and so sad, I cannot remain silent.

Jesus to the Pharisees (who seem a little nicer compared to these people):
"Healthy people don't need a doctor, sick people do...Now go and learn the meaning of this scripture: 'I want you to be merciful; I don't want your sacrifices.' For I have come to call sinners, not those who think they are already good enough." Matthew 9:12-13

"So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." John 13:34-35
Other verses to this effect: John 15:12-14,17-19, Matthew 5:43-45, Luke 6:27-34

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. God did not send his son into the world to condemn it, but to save it." John 3:16-17

"I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love." John 15:9

"If a shepherd has one hundred sheep, and one wanders away and is lost, what will he do? Won't he leave the other ninety-nine others and go out into the hills to search for the lost one? And if he finds it, he will surely rejoice over it more than the other ninety-nine that didn't wander away! In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father's will that even one of these little ones should perish." Matthew 18:12-14

"If you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:15

I could list so, so many more scriptures to show that God does not hate anyone, God is not killing our troops in Iraq, God did not rejoice over 9/11, and God does not hate America, or Canada or Sweden or any other country they have listed on their website. God is a just God, He has laws that He expects to be followed, but He does not hate anyone who does not follow these laws, rather He longs for them to follow His ways because He has a beautiful plan for their lives. He doesn't hate those who don't follow His ways, he longs for them, He anguishes over the pain that comes into all of our lives in this depraved and fallen world. If God were to hate anyone (which He doesn't) it would be those who were self-righteous and judgmental of the lost. Those who believe in Him and have his words to look to are in far more trouble than those who had no idea they were going against his laws. The reverand Fred Phelps might be really surprised to see where he ends up when he leaves this world. That's all I have to say.

4.21.2006

A Great Article by One of my Favorite Ladies

LIE DOWN WITH STRIPPERS, WAKE UP WITH PLEAS
April 19, 2006

However the Duke lacrosse rape case turns out, one lesson that absolutely will not be learned is this: You can severely reduce your chances of having a false accusation of rape leveled against you if you don't hire strange women to come to your house and take their clothes off for money. Also, you can severely reduce your chances of being raped if you do not go to strange men's houses and take your clothes off for money. (Does anyone else detect a common thread here?)

And if you are a girl in Aruba or New York City, among the best ways to avoid being the victim of a horrible crime is to not get drunk in public or go off in a car with men you just met. While we're on the subject of things every 5-year-old should know, I also recommend against dousing yourself in gasoline and striking a match.

Everyone makes mistakes, especially young people, but the outpouring of support for the victims and their families is obscuring what ought to be a flashing neon warning for potential future victims. Whenever a gun is used in a crime, there are never-ending news stories about how dangerous guns are. But these girls go out alone, late at night, drunk off their butts, and there's nary a peep about the dangers of drunk women on their own in public. It's their "right." Yes, of course no one "deserves" to die for a mistake. Or to be raped or falsely accused of rape for a mistake. I have always been unabashedly anti-murder, anti-rape and anti-false accusation — and I don't care who knows about it!

But these statements would roll off the tongue more easily in a world that so much as tacitly acknowledged that all these messy turns of fate followed behavior that your mother could have told you was tacky. Not very long ago, all the precursor behavior in these cases would have been recognized as vulgar — whether or not anyone ended up dead, raped or falsely accused of rape. But in a nation of people in constant terror of being perceived as "judgmental," I'm not sure most people do recognize that anymore.

It shouldn't be necessary to point out that girls shouldn't be bar-hopping alone or taking their clothes off in front of strangers, and that young men shouldn't be hiring strippers. But we live in a world of Bill Clinton, Paris Hilton, Howard Stern, JuliaRoberts in "Pretty Woman," Democratic fund-raisers at the Playboy Mansion and tax deductions for entertaining clients at strip clubs. This is an age in which the expression "girls gone wild" is becoming a redundancy.

So even as the bodies pile up, I don't think the message about integrity is getting through. The liberal charge of "hypocrisy" has so permeated the public consciousness that no one is willing to condemn any behavior anymore, no matter how seedy. The unstated rule is: If you've done it, you can't ever criticize it — a standard that would seem to repudiate the good works of the Rev. Franklin Graham, Malcolm X, Whittaker Chambers and St. Paul, among others.

Every woman who has had an abortion feels compelled to defend abortion for all women; every man who's ever been at a party with strippers thinks he has to defend all men who watch strippers; and every Democrat who voted for Bill Clinton feels the need to defend duplicity, adultery, lying about adultery, sexual harassment, rape, perjury, obstruction of justice, kicking the can of global Islamo-fascism down the road for eight years and so on.

This is crazy. (I can say that because I've never been diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder. Although I did test positive for "Olympic fever" once.) In no area except morality would a sane person believe he can't criticize something stupid because he's done it. How about: If you've ever forgotten to fill up your car and run out of gas, you must forevermore defend a person's right to ignore the gas gauge. Or if you've ever forgotten to wear a coat in cold weather and caught a cold, henceforth you are obliged to encourage others not to dress appropriately in the winter. This deep-seated societal fear of being accused of "hypocrisy" applies only to behavior touching on morals.

But we're all rotten sinners, incapable of redemptionon our own. The liberal answer to sin is to say: I can never pay this back, so my argument will be I didn't do anything wrong. The religion of peace's answer is: I've just beheaded an innocent man — I'm off to meet Allah! I don't know what the Jewish answer is, but I'm sure it's something other than, "therefore, what I did is no longer bad behavior" — or the Talmud could be a lot shorter. The Christian answer is: I can never pay this back, but luckily that Christ fellow has already paid mydebt.

COPYRIGHT 2006 ANN COULTER
DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

4.14.2006

I'm Back

We got back from China last night. It's 3:30pm here but my body definitely thinks it's 6am, that's a tad bit annoying. We had a really action packed trip and we never stayed in one place more than a day, except Beijing the last 3 days. We traveled to Beijing and then to a city bordering North Korea and worked with the Korean population for 3 days. Unfortunately, we didn't get to go in to NK. No big surprise there. We were in a town that we could look across the river into NK though and we saw fires where guards were hanging out around the border. Pretty crazy. We returned to Beijing only then to travel west to Lanzhou and lots of small farming villages in Western China that had Tibetan populations. Our guide was actually calling it Tibet, but it was china proper with Tibetan people. I'm kind of confused about where we were...I think maybe it had been Tibet before China took over the country in the 50's or something. Anyway, we worked with many Tibetan peoples and got stared at like we were rock stars because most of them had never seen Western people before-especially not with Blonde hair! One guy almost had a car accident staring at me. It was pretty funny! We ended our trip in Beijing spending time with an orphanage there, some underground seminary students and some sight-seeing. I'm pretty sure I'm in at least 20 random Chinese kids' pictures at the Great Wall because they kept asking me to take a picture with them. It's the blonde hair, but I'd like to think it's because they knew deep inside that I'm a rock star.
I'm keeping it breif for now because I'm a very tired lady, but if you want some extensive details of the trip check out our friend Tom's blog he kept the entire trip - he was willing to pay to use the internet, I, was not. The site is www.tcislost.blogspot.com He'll give you more details than I ever could and maybe more than you even want! Enjoy. I'll be sure to post more details and some photos as I become normal again!

3.26.2006

See Squirrel
See Sophie stare down the squirrel...
for hours

In other news,


Jason finally got his tattoo! Look at those guns


We're leaving for China on Thursday. I'm so excited. I'm excited to go, but I'm also just as excited to get two weeks away from camp planning and hiring. It's been pretty stressful lately. Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking when I agreed to do this again. I keep reminding myself how much fun it can be and I'm trying not to think of the craziness. There are certain kids from last summer that were just so much fun, so I keep thinking about them and it really makes it all worth it. I know that sounds cheesy and cliche, but it's true! It's all about the kids. If you happen to know any college aged guys who would love to hang out with 7-12 year olds all summer, send 'em my way =) I'll be sure to post lots about China when we get back.

3.01.2006

I'M DONE

The videos released today showing that Bush had warning about the levees in New Orleans being a realistic threat was the last straw for me. Those who still support this guy, I'm sorry but I'm done. I can barely stand the sight of him or the sound of his voice right now. I feel betrayed, I feel foolish for thinking he deserved to be president again. I'm happy about his appointments to the supreme court solely because I am pro-life. That's the only positive thing I can say about this guy. He's either completely clueless or completely corrupt. He spills endless words with false sentiment, false hope and fruitless promises. I nearly choked on my salad at lunch when I heard him telling the press in Afghanistan that Osama Bin Laden will be apprehended and we are hot on his trail. Enough is enough! SHUT UP until you have something of substance to say. In case you can't tell, I'm rather pissed off. If you want to read an article about the videos here's a link.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/K/KATRINA_VIDEO?SITE=7219&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2006-03-01-18-15-10

Jason and I finally have a name for ourselves politically. We haven't been sure what to call ourselves and now I think we've got it. We are the Christian Left. We aren't completely left because we're pro-life and we believe in absolute truth. We demand social justice and equality here in the States and around the world. We want debts forgiven, we want affordable health care, we don' t want tax breaks for the rich. There are others who describe this all much better than myself. One of them is Tony Campolo. If you don't like curse words, you may not want to read the second quote =)

"I think that Christianity has two emphases. One is a social emphasis to impart the values of the kingdom of God in society - to relieve the sufferings of the poor, to stand up for the oppressed, to be a voice for those who have no voice. The other emphasis is to bring people into a personal, transforming relationship with Christ, where they feel the joy and the love of God in their lives. That they manifest what the fifth chapter of Galatians calls "the fruit of the Spirit". Fundamentalism has emphasized the latter, mainline churches have emphasized the former. We cannot neglect one for the other." (Source: www.beliefnet.com)

"I have three things I'd like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don't give a shit. What's worse is that you're more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night." (\http://www.progressive.org/?q=mag_camp0805

2.27.2006

So Tired

Have you ever traveled 24 hours on a mini bus in one weekend? I wouldn't recommend it. Eagle Lake came rolling into Oklahoma City for the weekend with me and 7 other lucky staff for a youth weekend with a church that comes to camp every summer. Friday night was a "purity" night, and was filled with akward* but good conversation. Saturday we did an Eagle Lake preview day, which we call an extended version. I did a pretty cool workshop about being a Christian in our American culture. It was a much better experience than last weekend when I did a workshop for 8-10 year olds and when they dismissed the kids I had a good 30 hyper children running straight at me when everyone else had like 10. You can guess how that workshop went. I met a really cool kid this weekend that I'm hoping to keep in touch with. I taught her how to play the bongos. By the way, playing the bongos-while cool-really hurts your hands. I played on Saturday and still today when I mindlessly tap my hands on something it hurts real bad. Perhaps there is a technique I am unaware of to prevent this pain. If anyone out there knows the answer, please share. I worked today to cover for our office manager so she could actually have a day off for once, but tomorrow I am not working. Yes. Jason is going out of town this weekend and if you're keeping track, that makes 3 weekends in a row that we haven't gotten to be together. Boo. So, we're both taking the day off tomorrow and I am quite pleased.
Jason got his LSAT scores back this weekend. While they weren't quite as high as he had hoped they would be, they're still well above average and should get him into some of the schools he was hoping for. He decided, kind of on a whim, to go ahead and apply to 4 schools he likes that are still accepting applications for the fall of 2006. The original plan was fall 2007. I like this new plan and I hope it works out. Now that he's positive this is what he wants to do it will be great if he can just get to it. The schools he applied to are on the East Coast and the West Coast - no St. Louis. So, looks like we'll be living on a coast. While I never imagined this for myself, I'm pretty excited about it. One of the schools is in Seattle and there's a seminary there that I would LOVE to attend because of their focus on the arts and literature and culture. We'll see. Guess that's all for now.

*akward due to the fact that I had to explain what masturbation and what an orgasm is. Need I say more?

2.18.2006

Words that are getting me through

"and I did not come here to offer you cliches, and I will not pretend to know of all your pain, just when you cannot bear I will hold out faith for you. It's gonna be allright" - Sara Groves

"It will find you when the doctor's head is shaking. It will find you in a boardroom mostly dead. It will crawl into the foxhole where you're praying. It will curl up in your halfway empty bed. Baby, don't believe that's it's over. Maybe you can't see around the corner. Hold On, love will find you. Hold on, He's right behind you now. Just turn around. " - Nichole Nordeman

"5am here I am, walking the block to table talk. You could cry, or die, or just make pies all day. I'm making pies." - Patty Griffin

"in the burning of uncertainty, I will be your solid ground. I will hold the balance if you can't look down. If it takes my whole life, I won't break, I won't bend. It will all be worth it in the end. I can only tell you what I know, that I need you in my life. When the stars have all gone out you'll still be burning so bright. Cast me gently, into morning, for the night has been unkind. Take me to a place so holy, that I can wash this from my mind. Memory, I'm choosing not to fight." - Sarah McLachlan

THE INITIATIVE AGAINST DEPRESSION


"Arise and eat." 1 Kings 19:5

The angel did not give Elijah a vision, or explain the Scriptures to him, or do anything remarkable; he told Elijah to do the most ordinary thing, viz., to get up and eat. If we were never depressed we should not be alive; it is the nature of a crystal never to be depressed. A human being is capable of depression, otherwise there would be no capacity for exaltation. There are things that are calculated to depress, things that are of the nature of death; and in taking an estimate of yourself, always take into account the capacity for depression.

When the Spirit of God comes He does not give us visions, He tells us to do the most ordinary things conceivable. Depression is apt to turn us away from the ordinary commonplace things of God's creation, but whenever God comes, the inspiration is to do the most natural simple thing - the things we would never have imagined God was in, and as we do them we find He is there. The inspiration which comes to us in this way is an initiative against depression; we have to do the next thing and do it in the inspiration of God. If we do a thing in order to overcome depression, we deepen the depression; but if the Spirit of God makes us feel intuitively that we must do the thing, and we do it, the depression is gone. Immediately we arise and obey, we enter on a higher plane of life.

2.14.2006

Interesting article

medialifemagazine.com
PopcultSelling America: Why we are unhappyBy Heidi DawleyFeb 6, 2006, 01:10

People have been customers since the invention of stores. But it used to be that being a customer was confined to shopping, as the one on the buy side of a business transaction.
Alas, now people are customers wherever they turn. Students are customers of schools, patients of doctors and hospitals, parishioners of their churches.

The thinking makes sense, of course. It's about accountability, or rather the search for it in an increasingly unaccountable world. If institutions see Americans as customers, they will be more responsive, providing better service. The Whopper arrives sooner, the car's engine runs smoother, the water bill is more readable, the lecture or sermon somehow more insightful. Or so the thinking goes.

But if all this seems too pat, too comfy-feeling, if it rings a bit false to the ear as you ponder it, you should be talking to Jim Hutton. An academic in New Jersey, Hutton himself began pondering this issue some 15 years ago after hearing a university president describe students as customers. Remembers Hutton, who teaches marketing: “Something about it struck me as so wrong on so many levels.”

Wrong indeed. It's a flaw in reasoning, and the flaw is that God is not a bar of soap and the church not a retail establishment whose mission is to satisfy us as customers by bathing our souls as if we were at a spa. The university does not exist to satisfy us, nor does government. We are not their customers, and to be told that we are is dishonest and cheapens those instititutions, trivializing them.

Institutions have a larger, grander role, or ought to, Hutton reasons. They also demand of us. Citizenship demands that we participate in government and that we stay informed. Education demands that we work at learning. The church, religion, demands that we confront often hard moral choices.

Hutton calls this customer chatter the customerization of America, and he describes its effects in his book “The Feel-Good Society.” He argues that customerization, in an attempt to make our institutions more relevant, has stripped them of their fundamental role as pillars of the social order.

"Marketing has run amok, and consumerism has infiltrated our basic institutions. The result is that people have lost faith in institutions,” he says. “Institutions are not providing leadership.”
Institutions are becoming more responsive but to the wrong things, pandering as they do to win approval. The effect, contends Hutton, is that Americans are less happy. He points out that opinion polls show happiness levels have fallen since the 1950s, despite America's ever-increasing affluence. And that, he argues, directly reflects their declining faith in institutions, which is also evident in polls over the past 40 years.

Hutton believes the rise of customerization began in the 1960s during the cold war and the us-versus-them mentality that arose. The western model of consumerism, in contrast to communism, evolved into something patriotic. The eventual collapse of the Soviet Union affirmed not just our political system but our economic presumptions. The market, and marketing, became the answer to every problem.

Hutton sees the damage all about. In education, cheating is on the rise and standards have fallen. Professors tell students what will make them happy rather than teaching them. Education is no longer about learning but getting a degree and a good job.

In religion churches pander to parishioners to keep them coming back. But as Hutton observes, “Church isn’t to make you feel comfortable with what you are, but instead it should transform you by degrees into something that you are not.”

In health care, doctors prescribe the drugs patients ask for over the most effective drug. In politics, leaders are guided not by ideals for fundamental beliefs but public opinion polls. The media, Hutton believes, panders to advertisers.

We are being told what we want to hear but it’s not what we need to hear. Says Hutton: "We have all this consumerism and a good economy, but none of it is making us happy.”


Meanwhile, elsewhere in popcult, the new thriller “When a Stranger Calls” topped the box office over the weekend, bringing in $22 million. That dropped last week’s No. 1, the Martin Lawrence comedy “Big Momma’s House 2,” to No. 2, with $13.4 million brought in.
In home movies, the Vince Vaughn-Owen Wilson comedy “Wedding Crashers” fell out of the top spot on Billboard’s top video rentals chart for the week ended Jan. 29, giving way to the Nicolas Cage action adventure “Lord of War.” “Wedding Crashers” dropped to No. 2 after two weeks on top.
In music, Il Divo’s new album, “Ancora,” topped the Billboard 200 album chart for the week ended Jan. 29, its fist in release, with another new release, “Your Man” by Josh Turner, coming in at No. 2. Last week’s No. 1, Jamie Foxx’s “Unpredictable,” fell to No. 2.
And in books, Stephen King returned to the charts in a big way, with his new title “Cell” topping both the New York Times’ hardcover fiction bestsellers list for the week ended Jan. 28 and USA Today’s book chart for the week ended Jan. 29.


She listed the top movies, books, and albums of the last week but that didn't copy very well. I'm not sure whey she posted those, maybe to show what it is we're consuming that's not making us happy. If you're interested the article was at http://medialifemagazine.com/artman/publish/article_2668.asp

2.11.2006

Suzie the Subaru










We bought a car! Yay! I felt like such a grown-up, talking the salesman down, signing lots of papers. I am really excited. Now I just need somewhere to drive =)

1.29.2006

Life Continues

Our wonderful friends Chad and Sarah visited us this weekend! We had a very enjoyable time doing random things together. The great thing about these friends of ours is that there are no great expectations for our time together. We can truly enjoy hanging out in the house, playing a board game, watching stupid movies while making fun of them, drinking bacardi raz (which I can now drink again =) ) exploring Target, and most importantly, eating ice cream sundaes for dinner at Michelle's in downtown Colorado Springs. It was a fabulous weekend filled with not-so-fabulous activities, it's just that great to hang out with them. (If any of you decide to come visit us here I promise I'll dote on your visit too)

My mom was here last weekend and that was a very good thing. She grocery shopped and cooked many good dishes for us to eat and freeze to eat later. I'm so glad she was able to come. She hung out with me while I was pretty much bound to the couch and we had lots of good conversations. Mom's are great.

It snowed last week, and I missed my prime picture moments. If it snows again, I promise I'll show you all the pretty snow and the pretty mountains. I like seeing mountains every day, I must say.

Jason is busy at work reviewing tons of applications from college kids who want to spend the summer overseas. I only worked half days last week, but this week I'm gonna try to do the full time thing. My body has been a little slower to recover than I had thought it would be, but this weekend I am much stronger than last weekend, and that encourages me. My pants are fitting fairly well again, and that excites me greatly, as vain as that is. So, we're getting into the swing of life again and it's going pretty well. My hormones have been playing some dirty tricks here and there, but ultimately I feel like I'm doing well all around. It's strange re-planning my life from June on now, but I'm trying to focus on the positive and the doors that are now open that had closed due to coming motherhood. I've been given another chance to pursue anything I want, and I'm thinking long and hard about just what that is. One thing I know I want is to run the Denver marathon in October. It's a new goal and something I really want to accomplish while I can. Jason and I are going to start the training as soon as my doctor okays me to run again, which should be mid-February. Now I'm walking and I'm going to start lifting a little this week. I'm excited! Jason doubts I'll really stick with it, and I must say, that motivates me more than anything to follow through! I'll keep you posted on the progress.

One more thing, we got a couch and a coffee table this weekend! I am so excited about them and somehow feel more like an adult having a couch instead of just a futon. Yay

1.17.2006

Goodbye Miles

I write this post with much sadness, but not without hope, and not without love and peace in my heart and all around me.
Yesterday we lost our little baby. I really had a feeling it was a boy, and it was too small to tell, so we named him Miles as we had planned for a boy. He was very small, too small in fact. I was 19 weeks pregnant, but he was only the size of a 13 week old fetus. Something was not right, and so we are thankful that he did not have to suffer and that it happened now for us and not later. We are grieving this loss, and as we have never lost before, we don't know how long it will take or what the days ahead hold for us emotionally or spiritually. However, we have been so blessed and overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from our family and friends all across the world, and it has been precious to have tears of grief joined by tears of gratitude and love for the support we have.
God has not been absent in this, and even though I don't understand why he gave us this life to begin with, since he knew what would be, I am comforted at the thought of Miles knowing no life but one with God. We felt God's grace and presence with us strongly as we faced the day yesterday. My labor went very quickly, just as we prayed it would when the nurse told us it would take 8-12 hours. God knew how much we could bear and he gave us an amazing doctor who I loved, and will love seeing again, wonderful nurses, and the easiest and quickest labor I could have had. There will be many confused prayers of anger and of despair in my future, but I am sure that this will only make my faith stronger and it has already made our marriage stronger as this has pulled Jason and I closer than we've ever been before.
We are so thankful for our friends and family and so comforted that we don't have to grieve alone. We have much hope and we know that we will get through this and pray we come out stronger through it in faith, hope and in love.

1.12.2006

We Have Arrived

Look at our cute new House!

Big backyard for Sophie Dog

A washer and dryer in my house! Yay!
Bathroom
Jason and I's love den
Music Room/Office
Guest Bedroom - Come visit us!
Kitchen, with a dishwasher-bonus!
Kitchen/Breakfast Nook

Front Room


We are so excited about this new little house. It's only a 10 minute drive to work and is literally 1 minute away from downtown Colorado Springs. We have a old neighbor across the street named Earl who has lived in his house for 72 years. He is awesome. There are dogs and cats everywhere so Sophie and Pedro fit right in. There's a bridge down the street that goes over the highway into a big park. We really couldn't have asked to find a better place for us and we feel really blessed. My wonderful mom house hunted with me last Friday and Saturday and after looking at countless sketchy places and places that just weren't right, we landed on this house. It kind of became a no brainer but it was an exhausting search. I don't know how I would have made it without my mom here to help me, and then my brother Chris came with Jason with our stuff. Both of them helping us made such a huge difference. Without them I think I would still be cleaning this place! My mom literally spent about 5 hours cleaning only the bathroom. Gross

Jason started work officially today and I'm having a meeting with my boss this afternoon-hopefully to iron out some sort of real job description. I think I'm going to be helping with Eagle Lake a lot, even though I'm director of the Day Camp. It's cool, as long as I stay busy.
I'm not sure how long it's going to take to adjust to living here or how long it will take for it to truly feel like home, but we're excited to be here and we know we're in the right place, and that feels really good.