Oy

I'm having one of those days. A day where the thought of eating one more rice product makes me want to scream. I am so sick of this diet I have to keep.

However, the alternatives are to either have a baby whose tummy hurts all the time again, or to stop breastfeeding and attempt to find a formula she's not allergic to and increase our grocery budget by at least $100 to buy the formula. Neither of these options are attractive, so I'm sticking to the boring rice products. It's just one of those days that I want to say, forget it, I'm eating this yogurt and I will just deal with what happens. But it so won't be worth it when I'm up at 2am tomorrow morning with a screaming baby. I just need to know that someday this will end. It will, hopefully sooner than in 6 more months, but definitely no more than 6 more months. Oy.

A Realization

So, I've realized that my lack of posting is due to my desire to only post well thought out, well polished ideas. When I only have the time to put a meandering thought, or when I don't have any particularly interesting topics of conversation in mind I tend to not post, and this I think is defeating the goals I have in keeping a blog.

Therefore, I am now committing to posting more random thoughts, unpolished ideas and only moderately thought out paragraphs. I hope this is not to mine or any readers detriment as it is frustrating to read stupid, misspelled and poorly worded paragraphs, but alas, it is the only way I'll post more than once a month! So, I apologize in advance for anything to come that is annoying or insulting because I just typed a thought that popped into my head before really analyzing it. But that's kind of what blogs are for right? Well, now mine is.

Random thought as of late: I've found myself more critical of others lately (only in my mind, not spoken) and I'm taken aback at the judgmental thoughts coming to my mind. I try to immediately dismiss them and tell myself I have no idea where that person has been, what they've experienced... I think this could be because I'm in a new endeavor right now and I'm wanting to be perfect at it and definitely too critical of myself and it translates to being critical of others as well. This is not the person I want to be at all, and I'm working on it and trying not to be too critical of myself being too critical. ha! i guess it really is true that to love others well, first you have to love yourself - in a non-narcissistic way!