Ahhhh, Genetics
Ok, Ok, so now all of you have found out that we are having a baby. Today we went in for a sonogram to find out a lot more about our child on the way. Now I know what you guys are thinking... your thinking that you can't know much about a kid from its 7 week 4 day sonogram. Normally you would be right, however I have come up with some amazing methods for analyzing the pictures and genetics to come up with a perfect complete picture of exactly what baby Wilson is going to be like. So the picture I am going from is to the left.
Also when analyzing babies it is important to consider the parents, so here we are
The one on the right is a little goofy looking I know, but otherwise these are some pretty good looking and talented people. The other thing one must consider is the outside influences on the child, namely the pets
Now I know what you are thinking, how could Sophie be anything but a great influence on the raising of our child. The truth is Sophie comes from a troubled background. Her mother is a Ho and she was abandoned at the tender young age of 9 weeks old. We have done our best but I still feel she could have a harmful influence on our child.
Ok now all that is out of the way how about some real, legitimate analysis.
It is obvious to me that it is a boy. I blurred it out in the above picture just to be decent, but trust me it is a boy. I just didn't want to scar any of you girls.
Since we have that out of the way we need to get more specific.
Hair
Natalie and I both have blonde hair, therefore according to the genetic square thing we all learned in 7th grade it must have blonde hair, except of course that Sophie is involved here. Sophie has white hair and brown spots so our baby boy, from now on named Miles - cause that's his name, will have either blonde, white , or brown hair. I don't thing Natalie and I have albino genes so I am going with blonde or brown.
Eyes
Again we match. Blue eyes, sophie does not count here cause her eyes are really strangely colored - not so human.
Ears
It will most definitely have lobes, we both gottem
Head
I have a huge head.
Natale has a tiny head. Sophie also has an abnormally small head, therefore Miles will have a slightly smaller than average head.
Voice
I sound like I have been smoking 50 years even though I have never smoked. Natalie has the voice of an angel. Sophie has a shrill, loud bark. Therefore Miles will have an excellent screamo voice - though screamo (lord willing) will be out of style by then so we will see how he does with crazy future techno ska or whatever is happening then
Skills
I have random technical, science and some athletic skills. Natalie has writing, language, and being really nice to people skills. Sophie can put the fear of the Lord into squirrels. Therefore Miles is going to be a renaissance man, skilled in all things, quite brilliant, but really scary to smaller things.
Size
I'm about average, Nat's about average, Sophie is pretty small. My analysis... 6'11" 265. About the size of the players I create in Madden. Maybe he could take on this guy in his prime.
or this guy
Anyway those are a variety of things I have been able to figure out so far from this sonogram. It might look like a blob to you, but all this is here, really. So in conclusion I have been able to come up with two computer renderings of what Miles might turn out to look like...here they are
or
So these are both pretty studdly. I must say Natalie and I have some really nice jeans. Let me know if you guys come up with any other renderings on your own. Thanks for listening and I hope Miles isn't so studdly that you don't get your day's work done because you are starring at him to long.
Goodnight,
Jason
I will return you to your normal Blog.
