I am not a neat freak. Deal with it (self)

I'm happy to announce I've been feeling more like myself. I've been productive, hence blogging three times in one week. I'm figuring out what makes me feel motivated and what hinders it. I'm realizing I have to work with how I'm wired instead of telling myself the kind of person I should be. It's exhausting trying to be someone you're not.

For example. I am not a neat freak. I thought I was. I'm not. I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to keep my house clean and in order thinking that I needed it to be that way. I've realized, I appreciate a clean house as much as the next gal, but it actually wears me out trying to keep it perfect. If I was a true neat freak I would be energized by keeping it perfect. So, instead of hyper-home organization, I'm keeping loose home organization and I feel a lot better.

I suppose this is what you do in your twenties. You separate the person your parents taught you to be from the person you really are. Deep.

Hi There

Hi. I've been pleasantly surprised to find out that there are actually some of you out there still reading this blog. I'm impressed. I would have given up on me by now!

I'm feeling a little less "funky". There's been a lot of self-analyzation going on and I think it boils down to a lack of organization in my life. When I don't have some semblence of order and schedule I lose my sense of motivation to make that order come back. It's a personality trait that really annoys me but I'm learning if I live in denial of my need for structure then I only put myself into a funk, which is no good for anyone. So, the next task is to figure out where the order went and how exactly to get it back. Back in March I was extremely busy planning our church's women's retreat. The retreat was in April and since then I just haven't wanted to do anything. It's like I had to be so organized and structured and productive that now I just quit. The new goal is to find the happy medium.

Thanks for reading my blog and for your encouragement this week! I'm blessed to have people in my life who care!

Ouch - Warning, Gross Picture Below

Not for the faint of heart!


I dropped a glass, well, broke a glass on my foot Sunday morning. I now have 5 stitches and a swollen purple/blue big toe and top of my foot. This puts me in the most melancholy mood.

I broke my wrist when I was six and I became so depressed my mom called a psychologist friend because she didn't know what to do with me. I don't know what it is, but when I'm hurt and then limited physically, I just get into a funk.

It doesn't help that I've already been in a funk lately. I'm just feeling off and disconnected. I'm sick of always having something I should be doing or someone I should be calling or something. Yet, I know if all I did was stay home all day, like I have to today because of my freaking foot, than I would go insane. My whining is even annoying me. Boo me. I mean, 120,000 some people died in Asian natural disasters this month, and I'm complaining about five stitches? Please!

I'm in a funk. If anyone has directions out of this place, let me know.

Radiohead

I had the privilege of seeing Radiohead last night. We had pit tickets thanks to Jason staying up all night to get tickets online. To me, they are just the perfect band. It was incredible. If you ever have the chance to see them, don't hesitate!

Another Blog

I received a link to a blog today I think people should check out. This man has been running a relief organization in Kenya for the past 4 years and he's giving his thoughts and perspectives on what's going on right now.

http://dlipparelli.blogspot.com/

A woman at our church started a ministry of her own a couple years ago centered on Kenya. It started with her going on a missions trip there. When she came back she raised as much money as she could to bring Bible's with her the next time she went. This year, her organization raised enough money through things like garage sales and trivia nights that they built a new school! I was so excited when I saw the pictures of it, almost finished. Now I'm wondering if it's even still standing. It's so, so heartbreaking and leaves me feeling helpless. Just when I thought I was actually able to contribute something tangible there. Pray.