Wisdom from Mad Men

Jason and I LOVE Mad Men, and watch it religiously every Sunday. Recently a quote from one of the episodes struck me, and has intrigued me greatly. Speaking to Betty (a house wife) it was said: ''You're like a house cat. You're very important and you have little to do.''

I have struggled with my identity since having Amelia. I don't want to be seen solely as a mother. In response to that though I think I have almost denied that part of my identity at times and have thought it may be a terrible thing for me to become only a stay at home mom, or to phrase it even worse, a "house wife." I don't want to be a house cat! However, as I've thought a lot recently about the role of staying at home full-time vs. working part-time, I'm realizing I need to be more open to the idea of staying home. Above all else I need to consider what is best for my family. No one else can be a mom to Isaac and Amelia. No one else can be a wife to Jason. My own mental health is very important, and my happiness does matter, so don't hear me saying my family should come at the expense of my sanity or happiness. What I am saying is that I need to challenge the notion in my own mind that staying at home full time would be some kind of failure. Failure to not be productive enough, to not use all of my talents and gifts. I just really don't think that would be true, but I've been subconsciously living as if it is.

I've also been thinking about what makes being a stay at home mom so isolating and difficult. The difference I'm finding is that up until the 1950's and 60's, women who were at home with their children were also working from their home. It may have been helping run a family business, it may have been working on the farm. Basically, women weren't spending their entire day alone, thinking only of their children, cleaning the house and cooking a meal. These were parts of their day, but it seems women generally did things with extended family, and with other women in their community. The moms sat on the sidewalk together and talked while their kids played. Or, their kids wandered around the neighborhood while they sat at the table talking and sharing a drink. Being at home did not mean being alone, and it did not mean your life revolving around your children. To state it simply, today in many ways, it does. This is not healthy for mom, and truly not healthy for the kids either.

That's all for now.