Yo

It's my birthday, I'm gonna party like it's my birthday, sip bacardi (sparkling cider) cuz it's my birthday. Yeah, uh, what, yeah, that's right. The big 24. Yummy food is being prepared and a few friends are coming over. Even though a birthday on December 29th is not ideal, I'm having a good day.

Carter Abraham

Carter Abraham Wright was born this morning at 3:06am. He is 7lbs 7ounces and is 20 inches long. Kevin Wright, the excited papa, called us last night at midnight to let us know they were at the hospital. When I talked to him this morning I could here Carter crying in the background and Kevin couldn't have been happier. Crystal, his wife, is doing great and accidentally did the whole thing without an epidural because her labor went so quickly. They went in at 10pm and he was born at 3am! Now I know how I want my labor to go! We are so excited for our friends and it's crazy to think in 6 months we'll be making that phone call! Just wanted to share our happiness! I'll put up a picture as soon as Kevin gets one online.
It doesn't feel like that long ago that Kevin and I were pulling all nighters studying for music theory and music history tests, and Crystal was still just a girlfriend. All the band rehearsals, choir performances and Dr. Budds lectures wouldn't have been bearable without my dear friend and I just can't believe he's a daddy. I guess we're growing up, but I can't wait to tell Carter some stories about his daddy's college days!

As for our little one, he/she is now 3 inches long, fingerprints are forming, the head is now proportionate to the body, and he/she can grimace, squint, and suck his thumb! Not to mention that mom's jeans are not fitting very well anymore. Maybe I'll be brave enough to put up a picture of my pooching abdomen soon.

We returned from a week and a half in Texas last night and were quickly blasted with the reality of winter in St. Louis vs. San Angelo. While in San Angelo they are still having weather in the 50's, 60's and even the 80's on Saturday, in St. Louis today the high is 11. It's cold. But, I must admit, it puts me in the Christmas spirit! We had a great time in Texas. We watched the Cowboys almost win on Thanksgiving day and we got to go to an amazing marriage retreat called Hidden Manna outside of Houston. It was so, so wonderful. Thanks Dan and Linda for such an amazing anniversary gift! Only 3 more weeks or so in St. Louis and then it's off to Colorado Springs! We are really excited - especially to have our own place again - not that we don't love my family! Time has been flying, but we are ready to work. The weather there is about like here though. In Denver yesterday the high was 6. At least we can ski! I'm starting to ramble, so I'd better stop now.

Little Lizzy

For all of those who know my sister Elizabeth, brace yourself. Lizzy has her first boyfriend. His name is Parker and he is also in the 7th grade. He officially asked her to be his girlfriend on Friday night and offered to buy her a pretzel with cheese at the Westminster basketball game. "Isn't that sweet"? Those are her words. Apparently my brother Elliot and his friends know Parker and approve, but I'm feeling a little protective here. This is Lizzy, my sweet, shy little sister. I asked if he's held her hand yet and she said no. Phew. No physical contact. Maybe it will stay that way... I just can't believe she's in junior high and doing these junior high things. She wants a North Face Denali jacket, just like all of the other junior high girls (along with many sorority girls across the country) she wants a cell phone, her clothes are more hip than mine, and people, she is just too cute. That's what worries me. She blushed a little when I asked her about Parker - that was pretty cute. She said it's a long story and just as she was going to tell me this long story she recieved a phone call. Note: none of us even answer the phone in this house because we know it is for Elizabeth. The funny thing is that when she's not here we just don't answer and sometimes they call two times in a row, just to make sure she's really not going to answer. Funny. She also recieves prank calls from boys. One day, I made the mistake of answering the phone, and someone asked for Elizabeth. I told them she wasn't here and then suddenly the voice of Napoleon Dynamite was in my ear asking, "Is Pedro there?" That is my cat's name, but they didn't stay on the line long enough to find that out.

It's just funny being in the house with a junior higher again - we all remember being there - but it's different this time even from my brothers, cuz this is my Lizzy. If this Parker kid, or any other 7th grade punk makes her cry I swear, he will regret it, oh yes, he will. I guess I have to let go a little. If it's this hard with my sister I can't imagine what it will be like with my own kids. I look forward to hearing the long story and I guess I'd just better get used to it as I'm sure there will be many more long stories coming soon. Just had to share!

10 Weeks

How your baby's growing: Your baby is no longer an embryo! Though she's barely the size of a kumquat — just an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, she now has completed the most critical portion of her development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in her body rapidly grow and mature. Her vital organs — the liver, kidney, intestines, brain, and lungs — are now in place and starting to function (although they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy). Her liver continues to make blood cells, and the yolk sac, which previously supplied these cells, is no longer needed and begins to disappear. She has tiny fingernails and toenails and is beginning to kick and swallow.

During the next three weeks, your baby's length will more than double to nearly 3 inches. Her head is proportionately smaller now than it was a few weeks ago, but it's still almost half the length of her entire body. Her forehead temporarily bulges with her developing brain and sits high on her head; it will later recede to give her a more human appearance. Each day, more minute details — including tiny fingernails, toenails, and peach-fuzz hair — start to appear on her body. Her fingers are now completely separated; her arms bend at the elbow and curve slightly; her hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over her heart; her legs are lengthening; and her feet may be long enough to meet in front of her body. She is busily swallowing amniotic fluid and kicking her legs.

If you could take a peek at your baby this week, you'd be able to clearly see the outline of her spine through her parchment-thin skin. Spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from her spinal cord.

What your baby looks like at two months

9 weeks pregnant

For those of you who care about the details, I'm going to post the update I get each week from babycenter.com It's pretty cool stuff

"If dramatic mood swings leave you feeling like a soap-opera actress this week, you're not alone. Hormonal fluctuations are giving your emotions the yo-yo treatment right now. One minute you're ripping into your mate for leaving the toilet seat up, and the next you're weeping over a telephone company commercial. Take comfort in knowing that those same volatile hormones are helping your baby grow. In fact, this week marks the first time that your baby looks almost human. He's nearly the size of a grape and has all the standard body parts in place now — though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning between now and your due date."

So if I cuss you out for a not so obvious reason, or call you crying about how much I value our friendship, you know why.

Jason here, Time for some serious analyzation of baby Wilson

Ahhhh, Genetics



Ok, Ok, so now all of you have found out that we are having a baby. Today we went in for a sonogram to find out a lot more about our child on the way. Now I know what you guys are thinking... your thinking that you can't know much about a kid from its 7 week 4 day sonogram. Normally you would be right, however I have come up with some amazing methods for analyzing the pictures and genetics to come up with a perfect complete picture of exactly what baby Wilson is going to be like. So the picture I am going from is to the left.








Also when analyzing babies it is important to consider the parents, so here we are


The one on the right is a little goofy looking I know, but otherwise these are some pretty good looking and talented people. The other thing one must consider is the outside influences on the child, namely the pets


Now I know what you are thinking, how could Sophie be anything but a great influence on the raising of our child. The truth is Sophie comes from a troubled background. Her mother is a Ho and she was abandoned at the tender young age of 9 weeks old. We have done our best but I still feel she could have a harmful influence on our child.

Ok now all that is out of the way how about some real, legitimate analysis.
It is obvious to me that it is a boy. I blurred it out in the above picture just to be decent, but trust me it is a boy. I just didn't want to scar any of you girls.
Since we have that out of the way we need to get more specific.

Hair

Natalie and I both have blonde hair, therefore according to the genetic square thing we all learned in 7th grade it must have blonde hair, except of course that Sophie is involved here. Sophie has white hair and brown spots so our baby boy, from now on named Miles - cause that's his name, will have either blonde, white , or brown hair. I don't thing Natalie and I have albino genes so I am going with blonde or brown.

Eyes

Again we match. Blue eyes, sophie does not count here cause her eyes are really strangely colored - not so human.

Ears

It will most definitely have lobes, we both gottem

Head
I have a huge head.

Natale has a tiny head. Sophie also has an abnormally small head, therefore Miles will have a slightly smaller than average head.

Voice

I sound like I have been smoking 50 years even though I have never smoked. Natalie has the voice of an angel. Sophie has a shrill, loud bark. Therefore Miles will have an excellent screamo voice - though screamo (lord willing) will be out of style by then so we will see how he does with crazy future techno ska or whatever is happening then

Skills


I have random technical, science and some athletic skills. Natalie has writing, language, and being really nice to people skills. Sophie can put the fear of the Lord into squirrels. Therefore Miles is going to be a renaissance man, skilled in all things, quite brilliant, but really scary to smaller things.

Size
I'm about average, Nat's about average, Sophie is pretty small. My analysis... 6'11" 265. About the size of the players I create in Madden. Maybe he could take on this guy in his prime.

or this guy


Anyway those are a variety of things I have been able to figure out so far from this sonogram. It might look like a blob to you, but all this is here, really. So in conclusion I have been able to come up with two computer renderings of what Miles might turn out to look like...here they are

or


So these are both pretty studdly. I must say Natalie and I have some really nice jeans. Let me know if you guys come up with any other renderings on your own. Thanks for listening and I hope Miles isn't so studdly that you don't get your day's work done because you are starring at him to long.

Goodnight,
Jason

I will return you to your normal Blog.

Recap

I haven't posted in a month...here's some of what we've been up to, in no particular order...




Coldplay in St. Louis!

Ashley Smith...

became Ashley Teers!

Mini chateau reunion

Me and Lizzy carved a pumpkin...isn't he cute


We got to see Mizzou beat Iowa State with Megan and Jeremy


We got to be at one of the last Cardinal games in Busch Stadium ever


I got to remember the Alamo, and while we were in Texas...

We found out somebody's in there...

Baby Wilson is 8 weeks old!

We're gonna be parents-still wrapping our heads around this one, but we're excited!

I've come into the information age

Sophie on a joy ride

Look what I finally learned how to do! Yay

Yeeha

I'm in Texas! When we arrived on Monday the temperature was 107. Hello summer. We were in Colorado last week where it was very much fall and the leaves were already turning orange, yellow and red. We're going to be here in San Angelo until October 12th, mainly to make our first attempt at fundraising (gulp) but also to hang out with the Wilson's and read lots of books.

Yesterday, Jason and I accompanied Linda (Jason's mom) to a House of Faith meeting. House of Faith is a non-profit mission that started here about 10 years ago. There are many, many children and youth living in San Angelo who come from broken and poverty stricken homes. This ministry was designed to go to where the kids are-their back yards and apartment complexes to be exact - and to hang out with them, play games, give them a snack and teach them a short Bible lesson. They also own a warehouse that is decked out with video games, a half-pipe, basketball hoops, diner tables, air hockey tables, pool -basically everything a group of teenagers need to have a good time. They have the teens come once a week and serve them dinner and let them hang out. They bring the younger kids there once or twice a month for different House of Faith groups to have a big competition. They've also developed their own curriculum and I think I'll be using some of it this summer with our day camp kids. I am beyond impressed with this grassroots effort to meet the needs of the community - it's inspiring.

Yesterday we went to an apartment complex where tons of kids live. First we had a game of flag football going on and a line of littler kids taking turns jumping rope. After about 45 minutes of hanging out and blowing off some steam, the kids divided into groups based on grade. Linda does the 1st and 2nd graders. We laid out a blue tarp for the kids to sit on and first thing gave them some cookies to munch on. Man did they like the cookies. Then there was a game for them to play where they had three blocks with different pictures on each side. They had to match up the right head with the right torsoe (sp?) and the right torsoe with the right legs and feet. The lesson was about having an identity. I didn't hear much of the lesson though due to my own special project. There are some little boys that come to House of Faith meetings every week but usually don't want to participate, they just want to cause trouble. The reason they cause trouble is because they desperately want attention-desperately. They were doing all they could to be distracting so I challenged them to a foot race across the parking lot. We continued racing, climbing trees and playing hide-and-go-seek the whole time. It was not your standard version of these games, but they had fun. These kids so genuinely enjoyed being played with, being paid attention to. It broke my heart. I told one little boy I was playing with that I liked him. He looked up at me and grinned with his little baby teeth, mostly brown because he's never been to a dentist and probably never brushed his teeth. He said, "you do?" shocked and disbelieving. I said "yes, I like you a lot! I think you are a great kid". He just hugged me. He hugged me and held on for the next five minutes or so. I was wondering if he'd ever heard an adult say that to him before. I found out later that he and his cousin are being raised by their elderly grandmother who doesn't speak any English.
I hope I get to see these kids again next Thursday and I wish I could stay here to keep showing them love in a way they understand. This ministry is reaching a lot of kids with its bible lessons, but even more importantly is these people's willingness to hang out with these kids and show them some love in any way that they can understand it. That's what I had the privilege of doing yesterday and it's spurring me on to do much, much more. This is what I feel called to do - to do life with others and show them love and hope in a way they can understand it. It's starting for me with a camp in colorado, but I have hopes for much, much more. I want those kids at my camp, the Mark's and the Hose's I met yesterday. That's what I want Eagle's Nest to be about. If not there, than maybe a House of Faith in St. Louis. I know the Nations need to hear about the hope and love of Christ, but there are so many people here, just a few blocks down, that need to see it lived out, here. I think that's what I'm supposed to do.

I'm It

This time I was actually tagged! Thanks Myndi

10 Years Ago I Was...
beginning my 8th grade year. My favorite sport was volleyball and I was becoming successful at consistently getting my overhand serve over the net. Exciting stuff. I was entirely too skinny, had long blonde hair and braces. I hung out with the same 5 girls every day and every weekend from my small private school. We were the "cool girls" or so we thought. I was torn between being cool and still being nice to all of the other girls in the class. Katie Kowalik was my best friend. Alanis Morissette with her Jagged Little Pill was my new music hero and I also enjoyed the Offspring, Stone Temple Pilots, and anything else with a rockin' guitar and depressing lyrics that expressed my newfound teenage angst. I pretty much still have all of the songs from these days memorized- especially by Alanis.


5 Years Ago I was...
a freshman at Mizzou! I was in Tiger's Lair which is the pep club at the football games. We stood the entire game and during half-time would make pictures by strategically holding up squares of black and gold. I was getting to know my fabulous potluck roommate Myndi Meyer. She had as many cd's as me and we connected most through music and downloading songs on Napster together into the wee hours of the morning. We IM'd each other from across the room, we left our door open so people would stop by. We talked about our classes, boyfriends and our lives until 4am even though Myndi had an 8am math class. I learned how to unicycle in the hallway and performed a Fiona Apple song at "Spotlight" in the FARC lounge. I was in two choirs and voice lessons and majoring in music. Music theory was a thorn in my side and I only survived because of my dear friends Chris and Kevin and with the help of Marc Andre Bouji, the French master's student who did tutoring in our dorm. Needless to say I lived on entirely too little sleep, had to eat dorm food every day, and loved every minute of my newfound freedom.

1 Year Ago I was...
wrapping up my life in Nashville and moving to St. Louis to be a live in nanny/chaufer in Ladue with no rent as our pay. I had been a nanny all summer in Nashville for a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. Jason had been working in an outdoor store and we were both ready for a change. Moving to St. Louis was exciting but also not what either of us expected to be doing. I started a job in October as an Administrative Assistant for a counseling center and Jason did some as-needed production work for the Pageant, a theater in town. We got to live on a golf course and experience a small taste of what it is to be the wealthiest people in St. Louis. The best part was rediscovering the city I grew up in. St. Louis has experienced a substantial amount of rejuvination and has become a city I actually enjoy living in. There are tons of rehabbed areas with shops and cool old houses. It was fun to experience the comforts of the familiar but at the same time to discover what was new and improved. We were experiencing change, but in a good way.

Yesterday I was...
helping my dad, Jason and a friend complete the new wooden fence in my parent's backyard. I now know how to set posts, make sure they're level, build a frame and put up the boards. I feel so skilled now. Truthfully, the guys did the majority of the work. I was more of a helper/drink getter/sandwich-maker/hose turner-onner/measurer/wood buyer... When it became apparent that the men had it all under control I decided to get my oil changed. Then I got to visit baby Claire next door who is 3 weeks old now. I wasn't lying about my ability to make babies stop crying. My mom held her and she cried. I took her and she was happy as a clam. I think it's an aura thing. Anyway, my brother Chris and his girlfriend Lauren came in from Columbia and Jason and I joined them for the Coldplay concert at the outdoor ampitheater. We actually had seats rather than sitting on the lawn, but they were a little far to the right. Rilo Kiley opened for them and I enjoyed about half of the songs in their set. The lead singer has a great voice though. She's the background vocalist on the Postal Service project. Coldplay put on a good show complete with giant light board in the background. It was a good mix of their older songs and their new album which I appreciated very much. Chris Martin of course was all over the place on stage and actually came out very far into the crowd on one song which was very fun. All in all, it was a fun night. I heard they were donating all of the proceeds from their t-shirts to AIDS relief in Africa and I thought that was very cool of them. After the show we hung out and talked with Chris and Lauren until 1am. It was great to catch up with them. I'm so excited for them- they're where I was five years ago!

5 Snacks I enjoy:
Chips and Guac
Pita chips and Hummous of any flavor
Yogurt and granola
Dried fruit and soy nuts
Balance Bars, honey peanut flavor

5 Songs I know all of the words to:
"Trouble" Coldplay
"Terms of Endearment" Sarah Mclaughlin (along with every other song she's written)
"Art Teacher" Rufus Wairight
"Gracie" Ben Folds
"Like Eating Glass" Bloc Party
and many, many more including, "Since You've Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson - guilty pleasure of the year.

5 Things I would do with $100 million:
Give Ten percent to Green tree Webster
Set aside enough to support Jason and I in ministry for the rest of our lives
Invest 25%, including a house
Start a dive shop in Indonesia
Adopt a baby from Mongolia

5 Things I will not wear:
Jeans with rips or holes in them or with really faded spots and really dark spots
headbands
high hell, I mean heel shoes
panty hose
foundation

5 Places I would run away to:
Palau
Vancouver
France
Seattle
San Angelo Texas

5 Favorite TV Shows:
24
Seinfeld
Will&Grace
Wheel of Fortune
Golden Girls

5 Bad Habits:
Hitting the snooze for 30 minutes or more
picking at zits (ewww)
leaving the door open when I go to the bathroom (at home that is)
never working out anymore
not blogging consistently

5 Biggest Joys:
seeing a baby smile
going for a long run and not walking once
completing a project
singing
really good quiet times with God

5 Favorite Toys:
iPod
iBook G4
my car
mp3 player to run with
digital camera

5 Fictional Characters I wish were alive and in my life:
Harry Potter
The Cat in the Hat
Hugh Grant's Flatmate in Notting Hill
The cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz
Phoebe from Friends

Me in a Nutshell

I was not "tagged," but I thought this would be fun so I tagged myself (I was that kid)


Seven Things I Plan to Do Before I Die

Have articles/book published
Live overseas for at least one year
Help my husband start a non-profit record label
Have a baby
Own a house
Love my body
skydive


Seven Things I Can Do

Make amazing guacamole
Make babies stop crying
Write songs
Sleep for long periods of time (over 10 hours)
Consider both sides of a story
Make Jason feel loved
Train dogs

Seven Things I Can't Do

Make my cat stop randomly attacking me
Shave my legs without missing a spot (I try so hard!)
Keep my dog from barking when someone's at the door
Leave less than a 20% tip even if the service was bad
Drop the F bomb out loud (It comes to mind but doesn't make it out)
Whistle loudly
Stop eating ice cream

Seven Things That Attract Me to Jason

Big blue eyes
Stubborness/determinedness and his ability to handle my stubborness/determinedness
His bulging biceps/tricepts =)
His relationship with God
His passion for finding out what is right and acting on it
His intelligence
His smile


Seven Things I Say the Most

Sophie!
Do you think that's normal?
That's OC! (Out of Control)
I have no idea
I'm tired
Are you serious?
Ah, something new and different (insert sarcastic tone)

Seven Celebrities I Dream About

I have never had a dream, or really a day dream about a celebrity (I'm wierd) so I'm going to list the seven I'd love to have coffee with:

Andre 3000
Sarah McLaughlin
Patty Griffin
Meryl Streep
Jessica Simpson (to see if she really is that dumb)
Bono
Oprah

I tag anyone who would like to be tagged

Thoughts

I used to always need to know how a movie ended, even if it was awful. I don't need to know that anymore and I think it's because my own story has become more interesting.

Sometimes it's really good to be home. I'm getting to spend time with the woman who knew me before I was trying to be anything but myself. She reminds me of who that was.

As I grow closer to knowing who I am, I feel farther from knowing what to do.

I don't know if others consider me to be a very good friend - good at being a friend. I try to be but I think I fail a lot.

I tried to make a grilled cheese today on a Forman GRILL and it didn't work. Is it me or the so called grill?

More great things from Bono

This was posted on my church's website as article of the week. Leave it to Bono to put tough concepts into eloquent language.

Bono on Grace

Chillin'

Not too much going on right now. I've been looking into what we can do to help the hurricane victims and it looks like right now they need money and supplies more than anything else. The Salvation Army needs people to answer phones here so I just might do that for now. We're going to be in Texas later this month and I'm hoping we could help there somehow with the people that have been relocated there. St. Louis is supposed to be recieving 2000 people today and they'll be living in part of Lambert Airport for a while. I wish there was something I could do to fix this. Right now I'm just praying and looking for what I can do to play my part to help.
A friend of mine posted a thought provoking article about the hurricane and how it's been handled on her blog, it's worth reading:
www.commondreams.org/views05/0901-31.htm

Also, check out the new links to blogs I've put on the site - I especially recommend Cassie the Cat, the blog of the cat that lived with us and terrorized us in college. Too funny.

Here we are

Back in St. Louis - yay for humidity! I think I've sweat more here in the last few days than I did the entire summer in Colorado. Luckily, my parents have a pool.
Jason and I are currently living in my sister's room (the poor girl) because the basement is not finished yet. They had the ENTIRE summer to finish it, but, I'm not that surprised. I think I am a member of the busiest family in Amercia. Saturday Jason, my mom and myself went through the boxes in the basement (that have been down there for two years now) and almost everything ended up in the throw away pile or the give away pile. Monday Jason and I loaded up a friend's pick-up truck three times with junk! We took a trip to the dump, a trip to goodwill, and a trip to the church. Good times! We also got to demolish this big shelf made of 2x4's next to the stairs with a hammer and a crowbar. It was awesome! Do you remember making block towers as a little kid? I'd want to make it as high as I could but about halfway through the construction the urge to just knock it all down and fling the blocks across the room would overtake me and I'd desroy it. Then later in life I'd really be trying to build a nice tower and my little brother would just pulvorize the thing - I'd cry he'd laugh. Anyway, I guess that urge to destroy never quite leaves us because I thoroughly enjoyed knocking that thing down one piece of wood at a time - except for the time I almost hit Jason. He didn't think that was very funny... So now the dry wall guy is supposed to come on Saturday and we'll be another step closer to having a room of our own! Keep your fingers crossed.

Here's a thought. With all of the coverage of Hurricane Catrina at times I have felt like I am watching a movie. On Sunday night all of the news channels were throwing out their predictions of the worst non-stop. Then on the local news they interviewed a random woman whose sister lives in New Orleans. She decided not to evacuate her home because her car didn't have much gas. Then on my dad's satellite television guide the weather channel was titled "Hurricane Catrina Coverage" We found ourselves watching the news channels, soaking up their predictions and wondering if the worst would really happen. I don't know if it's just me but seeing something on TV too much tends to desensitize me to it. It doesn't feel like real people. Maybe it's just all of the hype that comes before the actual hurricanes here. When the Tsunami hit last winter that felt very real. I felt horrible for those people. There was no hype or predictions here about that tragedy- it just hit. There was no mental preparation for the devestation we saw on television and it hit right at the heart. So maybe all of the hype just makes me numb to the actual happenings. I'm not sure why I feel this way but it bothers me. Jason and I have tossed around the idea of asking the Red Cross or the Salvation Army if they need people to go down there. We have the time right now. That would make it very real.

One more thing; I like St. Louis more than I ever thought possible, and that scares me. I think it's going to be hard to say a final goodbye.

Clarification

I apologize. I realize that my last post probably did not make a whole lot of sense due to lack of context. This summer Jason was offered a position with the Navigators as their short-term missions coordinator. Jason was very excited by this job and it was an almost instant yes from us. Then, we were both offered full-time work with Eagle Lake and Eagle's Nest Day camp. Then we had to pray over which job we were supposed to take and if I should still pursue my master's degree. After MUCH prayer and seeking wise counsel, Jason and I decided he should take the missions coordinator job and I will continue working with Eagle's Nest for at least one more summer.
So, we will be moving back to St. Louis for the fall to raise support and tie up loose ends there. We are planning to move to Colorado Springs permanently this winter- probably in January. We are really excited about this job and the opportunities God is entrusting us with. However, I am going to be sad to leave St. Louis for good. Most especially because of my 11 year-old sister and our amazing church and house group with Greentree Webster. But, when God calls us, we will follow, no matter what we must leave behind.

So there it is

One decision down

Jason has decided to take the missions job he was offered here. He is going to be coordinating the Navigators short-term missions trips. We are really excited. It looks like I'll still probably get my master's from covenant, now I'm just going to do their distance learning program. Good stuff.

We're on our 9th of 10 weeks of camp. Almost there! An 8 year-old sliced his leg open with a pair of kiddie scissors today and had to get stitches. The adventures never cease. It has been a fun summer, but I'm glad it's almost over! I need a break from kids =)

I'm tired.

Jason and I have been asked to consider taking on Eagle's Nest as a full-time, year round project. There are dreams of permanent facilities and having a capacity for 3 times the number of kids we have now. When I came here for this job I hoped that this opportunity would arise. Now that it has, for some reason, I'm not jumping at this chance. What does that mean? It's a great opportunity, Jason and I will continue working together, it involves things I can get excited about and am good at. What's the hang up? That's what I'm trying to figure out.

Field trip day! We're going to the fire department this morning and we get to escape from a safety trailer filled with fake smoke. Then we're going to a pool with big slides and a lazy river. Hiyo!

Jackson

Jackson,

I've asked you nicely, I've asked you rudely and still no reply. Now I'm just plain asking - Who are you? please email me or something, natty1427@yahoo.com
If I don't know who you are I'm going to stop caring about your comments.

Kids these days

Day camp has been going really well. I'm working from 6:45 - 7pm every day so I apologize for the lack of posts. We've had our hiccups, but overall the kids are having fun, the staff is doing well and we haven't lost any kids! I'm finding that usually we have parents that are much harder to deal with than any kid in our program. I was kind of expecting this to be true, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating. It hit me just today exactly what is going on that is making parents really hard to deal with...

When I was growing up if there was an issue between me and another adult I would tell my mom and she would talk with me about it from the adult's perspective. For example, "I didn't get to take a turn on the slide because miss percy said it was time to go!" My mom's response, "well, maybe you'll get to next time. Sometimes there's just not enough time for everybody to do something." End of discussion.

Now I'm getting this response from parents:
"Janie really wanted to do the zipline yesterday and she didn't get to"
"I'm sorry, sometimes there's not enough time for every child to do it"
"Well I just don't think that's fair, my Janie was very upset"
"Janie never said anything to me about it, she told me she had fun yesterday"
"Well it's your job to make sure the kids are happy. Sometimes they don't tell you things, you have to ask them" See Natalie with no proper response possible other than I'm very sorry.

Each week there are one or two kids who are fine while they're with us and then when mom comes they suddenly are upset about something and it's all my fault. The adults are no longer thinking about our position in the mix, now it's only the kids' position and their side of the story. We have 49 kids we are responsible for. We do our absolute best to make sure everyone gets a chance to do everything they want at least once, but sometimes it just can't physically happen due to numbers and the amount of time we have.

There are definitely a lot of great parents out there and I definitely recieve far more compliments in a week than I do criticisms. However, I can't help feeling like I've failed when I'm listening to a parent telling me I made her child feel left out or unspecial - especially when I know that I can't say anything to defend myself or explain my position. It just isn't recieved.

I just had to get that out there to vent my frustration. I know that I have no clue what it's like to be a parent and face the challenges it brings. Now I'm just taking notes on things I really don't want to do when I am one.

What the heck?

I don't understand how my posting of an article about teenagers created anger about christianity. I didn't see anything spiritual in the article I posted, I just thought it was culturally interesting. I'm a little confused...
The article by Jack was right on and for the record, his family is awesome too - especially his grandkids =)

This guy may be on to something

This article is a little long, but worth reading

Myth of the TeenagerBy Dr. Michael Platt
Printed in PHS #2, 1993.



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Dr. Michael Platt studied at Harvard, Oxford, and Yale. Here in the States, at Dartmouth and the University of Dallas, and abroad, at Heidelberg, he has taught philosophy, theology, political science, American government, biomedical ethics, literature, and Rembrandt. In these fields, especially on Plato, Shakespeare, and Nietzsche, he has written and published as well. At Dartmouth he proposed a Liberal Arts Program, which continues to this day at Queens College; at the University of Dallas he taught literature and politics and directed the Literature part of the integrated Ph.D. program of the Philosophic Institute. He and his wife Patricia are raising their three youngsters -- not Teensters -- in Vermont. Copies of the much longer essay from which this is taken, entitled "The Teenager and the West," can be purchased from the author for $10.00; Friends of the Republic, Sugar Hill, East Wallingford, VT 05742.



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"We have two teenagers," I sometimes hear parents say. "Oh, I'm so sorry," I sometimes reply. Although I say it with a smile, the truth is sad.

While the growing-up process is inevitable, natural, and God-given, the process of children turning into Teenagers is not. The Teenager was invented, fashioned, permitted -- let loose you might say -- by the generation of our parents and grandparents. Discovering that may help us to raise our children differently.

The Teenager is a Modern Invention

There were no "teenagers" before World War II. Ask those still living who raised their children before then. Or spend a rainy Saturday in the basement of your library, comparing old Life magazines from before the War and after.1

Instead of Teenagers, there were Youths. Youths were young people who wanted to become adults. However confused, wayward, or silly they acted, however many mistakes they made, they looked to the future. They knew that adult life was different than a child's life. They planned to grow up, leave childhood behind, and become adults. They were aware that life is more than youth.

The Teenager has no such horizon. Beyond the "Teeny" world there is no adult life, no past with heroes, no future with goals.

Naming the Teenager

A new word was needed to describe these never-grown-up Peter Pans. Previously human beings between childhood and adulthood were called kids, boys and girls, young people, adolescents, and youths. These young human beings were addressed as "Young man" and "Young woman." Looking at them, their parents thought, "My growing son," and "My growing daughter," and they addressed them as "Daughter" and "Son." Sometimes others addressed them as "Master" and "Miss." Even the words "gentleman" and "lady" were sometimes heard. To name a kind or aspect of youth, lass and lad, stripling and maiden, whipper snapper and squirt, sport and shaver, minor and juvenile were employed, and the latter, juvenile, did not yet invariably go with delinquent. Words such as upstart, brat, tough, rogue, and slut described deviations from the general good of "youth," not its characteristic features. The word "teenager" did not exist. Compare the entries in Webster's Second (1934) and Third (1961) editions; only after the war does the adjective "teen-age" become the noun, "teenager."2

When parents today say "We have two teenagers," the reason why I can reply "I'm so sorry" is that they say this with a sigh. Indeed, there is a world of difference between having youths in your home and teenagers. Consider Tolstoy's Childhood, Boyhood, and Youth. Author Tolstoy is honest to a fault; youth Tolstoy was a bag of vices, poses, and miseries. However, youth Tolstoy was never a Teenager, for in the midst of his confusion, he was always striving to become a man. The world of grown-ups was there around and above him, not shut out.

Youths associated with other youths, sometimes dressed alike, talked alike, but never separated entirely from their teachers and parents. When you saw youths with their parents, they were not pretending to be unrelated to the family. After all, they wanted one day to become like their parents, or like their grandparents, or like their teachers.

Youths chose presidents, inventors, scientists, explorers, warriors, saints, teachers, and parents for their heroes. In American history they looked to the likes of Washington and Jefferson, Boone and Crockett, Lincoln, Lee, and Grant, Frederick Douglass and Booker T. Washington, and Clara Barton. In literature they looked to the likes of the Virginian, Robinson Crusoe, Hamlet, Odysseus, and Leather-stocking. The cowboy and the saint filled their imagination. Above these they looked to Abraham, Moses, Paul and Christ.

The Teenager has no such heroes; he may be miserable, he may not like himself, but his heroes are no more happy or worthy than himself. The highest desire of a Teenager is to become a more perfect Teenager, a Rock or movie star, certainly not a man or a woman.

What a Youth Wants and a Teenager Does Not

A youth wants to be trusted, given responsibility, and the opportunity to deserve esteem. Youths make more mistakes than adults. Usually their mistakes lead to lighter consequences, but they suffer more from them than adults; they like their mistakes less; they feel more shame. Shame is the other side of the respect they have for the virtues they see in adults.

Being immature, youths will always be tempted by pleasures, by flattery, and by illusions, but with an adult world around them, they will be able to make comparisons and judgments. Candy is candy, candy is sweet, candy can be given to you, but nothing in the world can substitute for knowing how to ride your bike. No one can give that to you. No one can do that for you.

Youths tend, then, to know the difference between the things that are really your own -- the virtues -- and the things that come from others, such as wealth, or come easy, such as the pleasures. Good youths like good tests. They want to enjoy adult pleasures after they have earned them by performing adult duties. Thus during World War II many of them served their country, as young husbands on the front and as young wives at home, before they could enjoy the mature "blessings of liberty." Like many others, Audie Murphy was a hero before he could vote.

What a Teenager most fears is a child of his own. His second greatest fear is death. And his third greatest fear is solitude. The thoughts "I can beget a child," or "I can bear a child," "I will die," and "I am alone," have often been the beginning of wisdom. The Teenager flees them. The Teenager cannot stand to be alone. For such a human being the natural mode of association is the gang. And how does one picture a gang of Teenagers, if not in a car speeding down the road, listening to rock music, and on drugs? Or at the rock concert in a gang of gangs? Or at the orgy?

These pleasures are powerful, absorbing, and "quickie." The Teenager craves a melody that will rock him around the clock forever, seeks an experience so intense that he will forget what time it is, and so absorbing that it will blot out all eternity.

Never does one see a smile on the faces of those enjoying these pleasures. The Teenager is the most free and the least happy of beings. Thoreau said most people lead lives of "quiet desperation." The desperation of the Teenager is not quiet. With the Rolling Stones, they shout, "I can't get no satisfaction." A being less acquainted with joy there has never been. A being more dangerous, it is hard to imagine. "Paint it black."

So far as I know, there have never been such youths on earth before. The Teenager is a novelty not only in the history of twentieth century America, but in the history of the human race.

Teenagers are Youths Orphaned by their own Parents

The day the Teenager was created was a sad day for every youth in America. Imagine yourself young again, unsure of yourself, swayed by strong passions, by turns ashamed and proud, sometimes shy, sometimes assertive, always awkward, filled with new desires and hard on yourself for having them, drawn toward cliques, tempted by clique cruelty, by affectation, by enslaving pleasures, and by premature bonds, but fighting on, knowing that you want to become something better, someone capable of good work, deserving your own respect, and maybe one day becoming a good parent -- imagine such struggling youths hearing their own parents say, "Relax, take it easy, enjoy yourself, adulthood will happen, don't sweat, this is the time of your life."

We see this parental neglect in the films of James Dean, especially in Rebel Without A Cause, where "Jimmy" must face his trials alone, hindered by a contumacious mother and a helpless father. An even less justified self-pity was inculcated by the effete Salinger in Catcher in the Rye, when he taught young readers to "trust no one over 14." In On the Road, Jack Kerouac taught that pleasure never disappoints. Waiting in the wings were other dubious adults: the porn merchants Henry Miller and Hugh Hefner. A new music, Rock, through whose dances the couple was annihilated, contributed mightily to the destruction of courtship. The pill divorced eros from responsibility. Owning a car provided a hideout from home. Dope became a way of life. And TV brought soft versions of all this corruption right into the home. Behind these intermediary causes was the deepest one -- the altered relation of man to eternity. The substitution of daily newspapers for daily prayers is the briefest indication of it. All these things went into the "creation" of the Teenager, but no one was more responsible than the parents.

These parents said, "The kids have to work things out on their own," felt guilty, and gave them discretionary money. The junk, record, porn, and dope merchants said, "Let us at 'em." And the statesmen watched; Ike grinned and Jack joined in. In other words, the most vulnerable were exposed to the most predatory by those most naturally interested in their welfare, their own parents. Absolutely astonishing!

What Plato thought no parents would ever do, turn over their own children to others to be reeducated, the parents of America did after World War II. Before then there were no TVs, a few disk jockeys, and some movie stars, but they were seldom allowed in the home, and certainly not allowed to educate the children. Suddenly after the War, into the American home came hordes of them. Few parents would have invited these persons in as guests and yet they turned over the souls of their own children to them to be educated.

In raising Teenagers these parents were committing a crime against their own children. No one complained. In raising Teenagers these parents also committed a crime against society, but although society noticed the crimes of the children, as "juvenile delinquency," it did not point to who was responsible, the parents. It is true that nearly every piece of social or court legislation since then has weakened the family, but alas equally true that the voters, that is the parents of the nation, have either supported the legislation or acquiesced to the legislators.

I'm a Teenager, You're a Teenager

We are now into the third generation of Teenagers. This means most people have had considerable experience of things that made the Teenager. In truth, many parents today are not much different from Teenagers. To disapprove of the Teenager, then, they would have to disapprove of much in their past and much that still exists in their lives.

The truth is that modern parents are often mixed beings; our experiences have not always been good, our deeds virtuous, our hearts true, our minds clear. Parents who want to do better than this by their children have to face up to and repudiate their own past and present Teenage sins. I doubt that anyone is really o.k. who is still justifying their past and present Teenage behavior. Such people cannot think clearly, live well, or help others. When they form a group large enough to determine the social policies and mores of a nation, that entire nation takes on the characteristics of a Teenager. The Prodigal Daughter is a portrait of America at the present time, free but not brave enough to be virtuous, discontented but not enough to free herself from bondage.

All the Excuses

The most potent impediment to modern parents acknowledging their negligence is the doctrine of choice. "Yes, we see rock music is bad; we don't like it ourselves. Yes, we see TV is shallow. Yes, we see that loose money is not good for our children. They have so much more than we had. Yes, they are not better off for it. But what can you do? The kids have to have some responsibility. You have to give them some choice." Thus runs the pro-choice excuse for negligence.

Its plausibility derives from two sources. In our political life, it is often good to tolerate deeds we would not commit and listen to opinions we do not hold. Of course, there are limits to this tolerance. Still, in a republic many points of view deserve toleration and consent is one principle of good government..

However, what is right for a federal republic is not right for a family. A family run on "democratic lines" with all members, children as well as adults, considered equal would be unnatural, for it would deny the difference between adults and children. Such a family cannot educate its younger members. "One child, one vote," is a formula for the end of the family. Parents who encourage their children to call them by their first names should not be surprised when they do not respect, seldom will obey, and do not often learn from them. To forgo the high titles Mother and Father is not benevolent; it is negligent; and it does not win friends; it loses children. Not to be able to call someone "Mother" and "Father" is to be an orphan.

The second plausible excuse for negligence is that it is good for young persons to take responsibility for their deeds. An example often supplied is how desirable it is to have an allowance, to own your own bike, to save up for it, and be responsible for its upkeep. Well and good, provided the chores contributed to family life are greater than the allowance. When older children keep all the money they make at a summer or after-school job, something has gone wrong. What could be more irresponsible than to get your room, board, laundry, and education fees from your working parents, and have all your paycheck for discretionary purchases?

We know how welfare recipients often lose their spirit, unlearn responsibility, and fall into dependency. As a class Teenagers are less deserving of welfare and are just as debilitated by it. The parents who set up a "pro-choice" version of welfare are as unlikely to exhort their children, discuss responsibility with them, give them maxims, or give them examples of responsibility, fiscal or otherwise as the current Federal Government is. And even if the parents do exhort their children, by setting them up with discretionary money they are showing them the way to avoid such discussions.

Few such parents will exhort their children anyway. The advantage of welfare for them is that you don't have to exhort your children. You don't risk a stormy argument. You can just forget the children and get on with your own life. To justify this negligence parents who "welfare" their children say, "We are tired." Recognize a "right to be tired" and you can justify anything.

Things I've been thinking about lately:

Health Insurance - It's time. Jason has successfully found what looks like a good plan that is affordable. We've resisted insurance for the last year and a half but now it feels like it's time to suck it up, grow up a little, and have coverage if anything happens. Why does it have to be so darn expensive and complicated?

Babies - I feel like I'm surrounded by them lately and it's wearing Jason and I down on our strict "we're waiting at least 5 years to have kids" policy. Talk about expensive and complicated! Surely we can't be ready for this yet, but as I was writing out our goals for the future in my grad school application I realized we're never going to be ready for kids. They are absolutely never going to be convenient. So now it's all about finding the least inconvenient time to have kids, because we do want them, and I'm thinking it could be sooner than we all thought. Scary.

Jobs - we've had a semi-offer for a full-time position here in Colorado with the Navigators in the fall. Now we must decide, do we really want to go back to school or should we start working? I can see many pros and cons to both sides and it is still very unclear to me what the right choice will be. I'm trusting that it will be revealed as the summer goes on. It basically has to be.

Dogs - No matter how many dogs I see here, or how many puppy kisses I get from friends' dogs, I can' t stop missing sophie. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it the whole summer. I'm thinking about begging for her to be allowed to live with us here. Then there's the issue of getting her out here... it most likely won't happen, but on days where I miss her a lot it helps to think I may get to see her before late August.

Camp - We're going up to Eagle Lake today to meet with the entire leadership team. Our staff arrive on Thursday to begin staff training. Enrollment for Eagle's Nest is rising daily. It's getting exciting and way to real. I think I can run a camp. I guess we'll see.

T.V. - I think I've been watching too much lately. I'm hoping the craziness of camp with nip that in the bud.

Greentree - I miss our church back home so much. I downloaded two sermons today and I can't wait to listen to them. I miss our friends there and the refreshing community we were a part of there.

Nannying - I had a dream the other night that we were a family's indentured slaves, I mean nanny's again. It was such a relief to wake up and realize that is over.

Friends - I miss lots of them and email and phone calls don't quite cut it.

God - I'm learning more about him every day and it's pretty awesome. I feel like if everyone could understand the gift of life through Jesus Christ and its core message, no one could turn it down. It's so simple, so beautiful and so freeing. Hallelujah

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

There has been a lot of unexpected excitement on my humble blog lately! The comments have been fun, uplifiting and thought provoking. I enjoy a good debate! It makes me realize that there are people reading this blog that I probably don't know and will never know and that is really cool to me. All comments are welcome-some may not be taken seriously-but all are welcome!

We have arrived! Day three of the job and things are hoppin'. It feels so great to be here. To finally see the facilities we'll be using, and to plan with people I can ask questions to only an office away instead of 14 hours away has been fabulous. Jason and I are living in a little house called the Bungalow, which is also affectionately known as the "hobbit hole." This is not because the people here are obsessed with the Lord of the Rings. No, it is because way back when, when the founder of Colorado Springs built his castle (which is now the Navigators conference center/hotel) he also built his children a life-size doll house. This doll house is now our real house. Pretty spiffy if you ask me. The only room you feel like a giant in is the bathroom. Other than that it is quite cozy. We would have no right to complain if we had to live in a tent all summer on this property because it is so, so beautiful. It's inspiring just to look around you while you're on the property. You can see some of the rock figurations from the Garden of the Gods just down the road. We also back up into a huge canyon of red rock. It is awe inspiring. The comic relief around here are the turkeys. One of them flew over my co-workers car yesterday while she was driving and she nearly ran herself off the road in shock! There's nothing quite like waking up to the sound of turkeys roosting. I'm thinking about making an afternoon competition with the kids and whoever catches a turkey wins a prize. =)

I am just beside myself with happiness being here and I'd love it if the summer lasts a long, long time.

Okay...

So, apparently someone out there thinks this about my new job,

"I don't really think being a camp director is THAT big of a deal. It seems like that job is meant for young people." comment posted conveniently by "anonymous"

I guess my excitement pissed you off or something. Well, I'm still excited and it is THAT big of a deal to me. Does this make me naive? I guess so in some people's opinions. If we can't get excited about the little things in life, the little steps that we hope take us closer to our goals, than what can we get excited about? Do I have to wait for my first 6 figure pay check or something?
Erica, thank you for your kind and uplifting comment. I guess you understand why I'm excited. And I am still excited, thank you very much, and trying not to absorb the negativity in that comment.

Administrative Assistant No More

I can't believe another month has passed by since I've written. So sorry.

Yesterday was my last day at the counseling center. Someone asked if I was sad about leaving and I simply said, no. This job taught me a lot about what it means to serve others, to think about others' needs and thought patterns over my own and that was very valuable. This job was not one that I could do well naturally or truly enjoy though. I am most thankful for the experience of assisting the directors and learning from their good and bad points. I worked for 4 very different people with different styles and I was able to pick up a lot by working with them. I thought about keeping a journal of the things I observed and I never did it. I regret that now, especially since two weeks from today we will be in Colorado as the directors of Eagle's Nest Day Camp. *I hate it when I have good ideas and then laziness keeps me from following up - I've gotta work on that.
I really hope that Jason and I are good leaders for our staff and our kids. I want our camp to be a well run machine, but one that is open to last minute ideas and changes in plans due to incliment weather and such. I want to be a leader that notices the little things everyone does to keep the big picture running smoothly. I want to motivate people to give their best, not just for me or for the kids, but to be true to themselves and their potential.

Everyone has to be given a job when they're young that they're not quite qualified for, but know they can do with a little luck, lots of hard work and endless prayers. This is that job for Jason and I. It's that first "break," that "five years of experience," type resume builder that will finally give us some credibility in the adult world. It's kind of tough trying to take on adult things when the adults look at you and still see a college kid (more likely a high school kid in my case...I'll appreciate it when I'm 40). I'm intimidated by our job this summer, but I'm really excited and I'm so glad there's only two more weeks ahead of us before we're out there and diving in head first, praying we get everything planned and in order before the staff arrives for training on May 26th! And then there's the packing, and that I am dreading.
This time of life is hard in that respect. This will be our third move in our year and 3 months of marriage. The worst part is that I know there will be at least two more in the near future. One when we come back to St. Louis in the fall, and then another if/when we don't want to live in my parent's basement anymore. Have I mentioned we're going to live in my parent's basement? Free rent during seminary=no school loans, so we have to at least give it a shot. We like my family a lot, so we hope it will work out. This is one of those things I swore I would never do and look at me now. Why do I even tell myself the things I'll never do? I always end up doing them. It's like the cosmos has to prove me wrong on any solid yes's and no's I come up with. Oh well.

It is a gorgeous day and everything is in bloom. The dogwoods all boast flowers of pink, purple, yellow and white. The trees have tender new leaves with the lime green color of spring. Each time I go to my car there's a thick layer of yellow pollen on my windshield. It was the kind of morning where you wake up and know you just have to get outside, so Jason and I spent the morning at Kaldi's coffee shop and the surrounding up and coming DeMun neighborhood. We ate a yummy breakfast of eggs over toast with tomatoe and melted cheese, and the best chai in town and then it was off to walking through the beautiful neighborhood Kaldi's lies in. It has been amazing living in St. Louis again these past 7 months. This city is experiencing a re-birth I never would have known was possible when I lived here as a child. The city is tearing down the old condemned buildings and replacing them with neighborhoods, playgrounds and parks. This is the first time I can recollect seeing new buildings, condos, shops, restaurants and lofts springing up everywhere downtown and in the surrounding neighborhoods. I think our generation yearns for the urban lifestyle where a coffee shop a grocery store and a city park are only blocks away, and in St. Louis it's happening. It's really exciting and it's been fun to talk about where we'd want to buy our first house or condo should we end up in St. Louis for real. I never thought that I'd want to live in St. Louis again, but we love our church so, so much and the city is coming to life in ways I'd always hoped it would. I guess we'll see. I guarantee in three weeks I'll be writing about Colorado Springs being my dream place to live and how I never want to leave again. But for today, St. Louis is beatiful in the spring and I'm content to be right where I am.

Destiny has chosen another day

So, once again I am posting on the 16th rather than the 15th. The forces of the Universe seem to be preventing my posts from occuring when I had planned, so I guess from now on I'll give in and post on the 16th of the month.

The children we take care of daily have a two week long spring break and are leaving for skiing in Utah on Friday morning. I can barely contain my happiness. I feel like a child who has been released of her chores for the next two weeks. After tomorrow I can breathe a huge sigh of relief in having a break. This break also makes me excited for the day we leave this place for good, and that day is quickly approaching, thank God. It's taken a lot of my strength to be a servant in times when I don't feel the person I'm serving deserves my sacrifices - or truly appreciates them. It's been a wonderful lesson in true humility and it has shown me my pride in a light I hadn't seen before. Every struggle in life holds a purpose and a lesson for the rest of our days. I'm still putting the pieces together in the meaning of this section of our journey, but I can readily say I will not be sorry to put it behind me. I just pray I have learned what I was supposed to so that I don't have to be in this position again.

This past Sunday Jason and I stood before our church, along with 4 other families, and pledged our membership to Greentree Webster. This was my first decision to become a member of a church and I'm really excited about it. I have pledged to be a part of this ministry, to contribute to its shaping and growing, and to pour into it while I am also taking out of it. It's a young ministry and holds so much potential. I feel we were led to this church specifically and I find great excitement and comfort in knowing I am in a place I can be real and pursue God fully among other people truly seeking to do the same. I have found a church body with a genuine passion for living out the gospel- truly, wholly, without exception - and it is refreshing and encouraging. It's one of those times where it has been confirmed for me that God is still out there, he's still working, he's still putting his hands into people's lives and fulfilling his purposes. It's a beautiful and much needed reminder in this World and its shaky and uncertain state. I am thankful to have a solid foundation to stand on and to have others around me helping to remain steadfast in my pursuit of knowing this God of all. Hallelujah.

It's almost spring, and I am happy!

Prayer for Peace
And seek the peace of the city whither I have caused you to be carried away captives, and pay unto the Lord for it: for in the peace thereof shall ye have peace. Jeremiah 29:7)

The principle involved in this text would suggest to all of us who are the Lord's strangers and foreigners that we should be desirous to promote the peace and prosperity of the people among whom we dwell. Specially should our nation and our city be blest by our constant intercession. An earnest prayer for your country and other countries is well becoming in the mouth of every believer. Eagerly let us pray for the great boon of peace, both at home and abroad. If strife should cause bloodshed in out streets, or if foreign battle should slay our brave soldiers, we should all bewail the calamity; let us therefore pray for peace and diligently promote those principles by which the classes at home and the races abroad may be bound together in bonds of amity.
- C.H. Spurgeon

Playing house

This week the parents of the three kids we shuttle around every day are in California, therefore, Jaosn and I are mom and dad for a week. I must say, I'm enjoying living in a mansion. I'm especially enjoying the housekeeper that comes every day. She can fold a fitted sheet into a perfect square! This woman has serious talent. We leave for school with breakfast dishes in the sink, we come home and they're clean and back in the cabinet they came from. The bathroom sink has fresh cups every day so you can get a drink at night, or in the morning. It's like staying in a hotel with full turn-down service. I'm sure if I asked her, she would leave a chocolate on my pillow for me. The milk man is coming tomorrow. Good thing, because we're almost out. Before this job, I didn't even know the milk man still existed. He does, and his milk is fantastic and organic, of course.
There are downsides to the mansion lifestyle though. First of all, in a four-story home built in the early 1900's, it can be tricky to avoid the drafts. I was told last month,s heating bill was over $700. Bummer. Also, when you're on the first floor and a child you need could be on one of 3 other floors, it can take a lot of exploring to actually find them - especially when they're out of yelling range. But, it sure was nice to get up early this morning and walk down the hall to the workout room and use the exercise bike while watching Today on NBC.
I'm glad I'm not a real mom yet (do you have any homework? is not a favorite topic around here) and I don't have to deal with this kid stuff every day, but, it is kind of fun - just for the week.

Okay, here's the part where I vent for a few lines:
I am really, really sick of my job. I am currently an administrative assistant at a counseling center. I really believe in the ministry I am contributing to, and most of the counselors are people I genuinely like and get along with. The problem is that I am an assistant. I've always known I was naturally a leader, but I thought I could be a good assistant too. I've discovered I was mistaken. I do a good job, but I am bored out of my mind. I am also frustrated due to my boredom and this is breeding resentment. The people my resentment has been directed towards lately probably only deserve a tenth of the anger I feel inside, yet it's there nearly every day and it's only getting worse. "We need more mugs upstairs"...I think, "get them yourself! What do I look like? I have work to do too you know!" Then I remember, oh yeah, that's in my job description. Answer the phones, schedule the meetings, tally the results of this survey, type up this letter, help me write this essay, email these people, take notes during this meeting, we need more office supplies, we're out of bottled water, write up this two page document in the next 5 minutes! Am I giving you a taste? Silly me for thinking I can handle any job for 6 months. I took this position as a temporary 6 month position knowing it wasn't a perfect fit, but hey, it was a job and I needed a job.
Out of it all I have learned a tremendous amount about my personality, my strengths and my glaring weaknesses. Part of my frustration stems from the knowledge that a job I am much better suited for waits for me this summer. May 1st is my light at the end of this dark, dark tunnel. Why do I let a light in the distance make the darkness around me seem that much more black. Shouldn't it be turning grey, then a dirty yellow, and finally glorious white? I feel like the shade of black for me gets darker and darker until suddenly, bam! It's light... I don't like this about myself. But, at least I am learning things. I'll take the good and try to apply it in the future. For example, the next time I'm tempted to apply for an administrative assistant position, I'll say to myself, been there, tried that... not so good.

Dang

I've already messed up in my posting on the 1st and 15th of the month idea. That's pathetic. Yesterday was really busy though... oh well. Not much to speak of at the moment. I've had a headache since my head hit the pillow last night. I'm hoping as I hit the pillow tonight it will go away. I'll keep you posted as I know you will now be in great suspense wondering if my headache did indeed go away. Goodnight

I didn't know people still thought this way

This week this forward landed in my inbox:

Right on, Andy Rooney!
Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:
I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

(My thoughts: If those are the only things that you can think of that are truly discriminatory than you must have your head up your ass)

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

(My thoughts: A gun is created solely to kill something - that's what they're for! Hello! Although Jason does say that 12 gagues are good for cutting down trees. Hmm)

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

(My thoughts: You know that first comment when you said the only examples you saw of discrimination were scholarships for African Americans? Here's another example, women still being banned from being a member of certain golf courses - not to mention blacks or anyone else not old, rich, white and a prick)

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

( My thoughts: Have you heard of Jesus?)

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

(My thoughts: can you name one American city where the population of African Americans is 70%?!)

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours. I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

(My thoughts: Do you know how hard it is to learn a new language when you're not literate in your own?! What has happened to the sanctity of a human life? Does a man not have dignity because he does not speak your language? There are people who are seeking refuge in this country who left lives of privilege, education, and good jobs to have freedom here. Now they are being forced to clean your house, mow your lawn, and never be given the time of day by you. They are people too, with lives and stories. Maybe if you'd take the time to try and get to know these people you wouldn't feel so harshly towards them.)

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

(My thoughts: At least they're working and contributing to society instead of accepting welfare checks and food stamps)

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document and open to their interpretations.

(My thoughts: What exactly are you saying here? I'm confused. Is someone from Europe telling us to change our constitution? I'm not following - sorry)

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

(My thoughts: It's easy not to pity the poor when you're not poor yourself and you don't live on the side of town where utter poverty and 2nd world conditions stare you in the face. Have you ever gone hungry before? I think if you had - or better yet, had to watch your children go to bed hungry - you might dig up some pity)

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

(My thoughts: What the *$#@?)

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

(My thoughts: I'm glad for the village that raised me. I'm thankful I had grandparents, youth leaders, and friends of my parents looking out for me)

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

(My thoughts: Then get your french fries yourself, or better yet, don't eat them, they are bad for you. I've never met anyone who got a piercing to make a political statement. Anyone?)

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe.

(My thoughts: if you don't want to be called a European American that's fine, but why does it piss you off so much if someone wants to be called an African American? Why the heck do you care? Are any of your friends black? Maybe you should just ask them what they would like to be referred to as personally. Ope, there I go, looking at those different from me as people with feelings and opinions too!)

I am proud to be from America and nowhere elseAnd if you don't like my point of view, tough... DON'T PASS IT ON!!
(Don't worry, I'll just point out how ridiculous it is.)

A New Month

February First and I am delighted. I just hate January. I associate it with cold dreary days that get dark before 5pm. February goes by much faster and promises of spring the next month. I'm sure this is mental, but I feel relieved for February.

I'm going to try something new with this blog. I am guaranteeing a post on the 1st and 15th of each month. I would like you blog readers of mine to keep me accountable to this. I want to post more and I think having at least two days a month I must blog will be good. And so, I am posting today. I thought of this 1st and 15th of the month thing while I was running this afternoon. I'm not sure why, but the ideas I have while I'm running are usually pretty good so what the heck eh?

Let me tell you why I hate vacuuming. I love the results of vacuuming because my black hardwood floors are no longer covered with white pet hair, but the process annoys me. The vacuum comes equipped with a long cord. This cord I suppose is meant to be a convenience. The cord allows you to clean the living room, and maybe even stretches all the way into the bedroom, without having to plug into a closer outlet. Convenient. Here's the annoying part. I always attempt to estimate how much cord I need so I won't have extra cord all over the place to trip over and run over repeatedly with the vacuum. My mother told me as a child that if you run over the vacuum cord while the vacuum is running you may be electrocuted. It's a wonder I'm alive. That damn cord is always under me somehow. It has a mind of its own and it is devious. So, I try not to have extra cord. Well then, while attempting to vacuum in the bedroom, the plug is pulled out because I didn't release enough cord to reach the areas I'm trying to vacuum (to avoid the tripping and possible death). Now I must go to the outlet and plug the cord back in. Of course I did not turn the vacuum button onto "off" before plugging the vacuum back in and now I am at risk of being electrocuted again because you should never plug in something electricity will flow to immediately. So, now I've plugged in the cord and again I have narrowly escaped electrocution. Now I am forced to release the entire vacuum cord so I won't have to re-plug the thing in again and thus I am tripping and running over the cord and further risking electrocution. It's a game I play with the cord every time I vacuum and on days like today it just pisses me off. I think I'm probably the only one with this issue, and that's okay. It's just fun to share.

On the Move Again

"I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down" - Chumba Wumba

Jason and I have accepted the positions of assistant director and director of Eagle's Nest Day Camp in Colorado Springs! I am the director and Jason is my assistant (yeah girl power). Our position starts May 1st and the camp runs from June 6th - August 12th. We are really, really excited for many reasons. We love Colorado so, so much and have wanted to move out there since we've gotten married, we just wanted to have a job out there before we jumped in. We love Eagle Lake Camp and the Navigators and now we get to work with them and for them again. There's nothing like returning to the place that changed your life with love. We get to do a job we will love and find purpose in. After many a boring post college crappy job, we finally get to do work that challenges us, uses our skills and strengths, and we get to try out working together. It will be a great test and I hope we work well together because I've always imagined myself doing ministry with my husband as a team. Now that I have this to look forward to, everything seems a bit better. I have hope again that there is work out there for me that I will love doing! Sometimes it looks pretty bleak. Once again, God hasn't left us hanging. He's still there and moving ahead with his plans. It's always reassuring! Also, Jason and I have finally found a church in St. Louis that's as cool as our church in Nashville was. It's called Green Tree Webster and it is so refreshing. After trying many different churches in St. Louis, we have finally found one that has real people living out real Christianity. The pastor is real and translucent in his speaking. People are so friendly. Each time we've gone people have introduced themselves to us (without the pastor saying it was meet and greet time) and they were totally genuine, not just being nice. We went to a pastor's dessert tonight, and we met in a person's home with the pastor, some new people and a small group that met in that house every thursday night. They made us awesome desserts and the pastor shared his heart about the missions and goals of the church and then we got to ask him any questions we had. Their house groups meet together to be a family. They hang out, watch a movie, share their life stories, sometimes talk about the Bible. The focus is on sharing one another's lives, not completing a bible study chapter each week. I find it really refreshing and exciting that we found a church in Nashville and now St. Louis that seems to actually be living out the example set for us in the New Testament where we love one another, we embrace everyone no matter where they're coming from, and we encourage one another in our faith, to press on. I wish everyone could have this type of church experience instead of the many corrupt, fake, repulsive congregations there are in this country that have turned so many people off to the faith. I feel truly blessed and I am encouraged that maybe this type of real church with real people living out the Word for real, will keep popping up in cities, and then maybe there will be more and more in each city and people won't feel judged by the church anymore but welcomed and loved just as they are. "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" Jesus came for the sick, not the well, and if you get real honest, we're all sick and need a doctor. I'm just so excited to be in a body of people who are real and aren't afraid to admit it.
Enough of my tangent, I'm just really excited because life is looking up. I felt like 2005 would be turning a corner, a big new start, and so far it's happening. Yay

Behind every great man there is an AMAZING woman. In August I posted an 80th birthday tribute to my grandpa Nester. Today, the special lady that has been at his side for fifty years celebrates number 75. A soft and gentle spirit. Quiet on the outside with much wisdom and experience lying within. Not one to force her opinion on anyone, but if you want a well thought out and intellingent perspective, she's the one to ask. A diehard Rams fan who still mourns the loss of Kurt Warner. Stubborn (in a good way) and the lady who gave me my pretty blue eyes, fine hair and sensitive skin. I would call my grandma the glue that has held the Nester family together for the past fifty years, and none of us would be who we are today without her presence in our lives.
Grandma came over at least once a week dawning some sugary cereals (the ones mom wouldn't buy), and some other household necessities she had found a great deal on. When our family was younger, going over to Grandma's house on the weekend was exciting. We knew we'd eat some great meals and probably get to do something special. She loves to play scrabble, she sat through countless games of Old Maid, Checkers, and Yahtzee, and I'm pretty sure I won most of the time. She has always, and still does, attend every basketball, baseball, softball, soccerball, volleyball, football event known to the Nester family. Not to mention all of the choir concerts and school programs she's sat through in the last 15 years. I'd estimate she hasn't missed more than five events over the past 20 years - those probably being due to sub-zero temperatures on the soccer field.
She makes every birthday special. She made every childhood Christmas magical. She's an example of selflessness you don't see very often in our society. She puts up with a lot of things I would blow my top over. She is charming, beautiful, and extremely dependable. I feel blessed and enriched as a person to know her and to be able to call her my grandma. It's amazing to have a person in your life you know would do anything she could to make your life special, to help in any way needed. She gave of her home for my wedding day and it was amazing to get ready for the momentous occasion in the home she has made so cozy, warm and safe. She has sewn countless holes in jeans and sweaters ( I have one I need her to sew even right now). I love the life I still see in her. She knows what's happening in pop culture and makes sure she catches every new episode of Desperate Housewives. I've known her all my life, yet I'm still learning new things about her all the time. I have so many memories that are sacred to me that are centered around her- her love, her warmth, her caring, her giving, her beautiful spirit. She is a woman I admire and I love more than most anyone else in this world. I hope her birthday reminded her how special she is and how blessed and richer the world is since she was born.
I love you so, so much nat