Mundane

My house is clean. The dishes are done and put away. All 4 members of the family have clean laundry that is folded and in the proper drawers. Why does success at the mundane mean so much? I seriously can breathe easier today than I could yesterday.

Counseling is rocking my life, in a good way, but in a "can we please get this over with as soon as possible?" kind of way. The best way to describe where I'm at right now is in the lyrics of a Waterdeep song:

When you feel like the days just drone on and on and on,
And you feel like the nights seem quickly gone.
On the inside you feel like your heart's just gaping wide.
On the inside you feel like no one's on your side. Well, I AM.

When you thought you could rest but you found out you were wrong
And there's another mean, another battle, another one more thing that comes along
On the inside you hear the fall, but you hate the falling sound
On the inside, you can't pick another broken piece up off of the ground.
Well, I know.

Hush little baby, don't say a word
Daddy's gonna buy you a great big heaven to rest in
He's bought it with blood, He put this seal in your heart
It will give you the hope you need to get up and start, again.

When all the things you thought you left behind are still hanging on
And everything you try to do right just ends up all wrong
And on the inside everyone else seems basically fine
But on the inside, even they won't let go of the dead and cling to what's alive
Well, I AM

And of course as I'm overwhelmed by emotions, Isaac is getting his front teeth in, Amelia is clingy, and Jason is doing a crazy all day adventure race tomorrow. Not to mention this seems to be the weekend of Christmas parties. Deep Breath. Release. Repeat =)