rambling thoughts due to triptophan overload

The best part of Thanksgiving day this year was winning third place for my age group in the Gobble Wobble 5K. My prize was, appropriately, a chrome plated ice cream scoop. Oh yeah baby.

The best part of the holiday weekend was, getting to see Ashley Breitenstein in Columbia MO, along with Megan Crowley. It eased my missing college friends woes.

The worst part of the holiday weekend was (is), right now. I'm about to go to bed and morning brings another work week, and this one doesn't have a holiday in it. Reality Bites. (That's a good movie)

The bright side is, I think we're going to get a Christmas tree this week. That makes me happy! I just hope Pedro doesn't try to climb it. I have a feeling he will.

Ta Ta

EWWWWWW

My Kitty has ringworm. Suddenly I itch all over. I let that thing on my bed!

Today we had our first snow. I should say we're having our first snow because it's still coming down! I am now officially filled with holiday cheer.

I made popcorn balls tonight for the first time. I am so domestic!

"All Men are like grass" 1Peter 1:24

How can life not be taken for granted? How can a person appreciate each moment, each friend, each note, each kiss, every day - truly?

I still feel the warmth of those I call dear friends through emails, blogs and the occassional precious phone call. Yet I find that I'm aching inside and the worst is that I know these special people have left a hole inside that no one can ever fill or replace. The new friends just start a new corner in my heart because the old spaces are taken- occupied- forever. Should I have spent more time in dorm room conversations until 3am? Should I have done the bare minimum with my school work so that I didn't have to miss an unforgettable night out or a spur of the moment trip to Dunkin' Donuts? Freshman year I was so completely sleep deprived that while walking on campus on more than one occasion I truly feared I may collapse without a moment's notice due to utter exhaustion. Nights on the bunk bed talking with Myndi about everything until 4am when she had 8am Math 10. Learning how to ride a unicycle in the FARC hallway with Tim Murray. Trying to understand Music theory and write a proper melody with Chris and Kevin. Downloading on Napster until my eyes stung from the lack of blinking that occurs when staring at a computer screen entirely too long. Riding my bike home from the music building at 2am and hearing the birds singing in the trees like it was morning. The first snow on campus and the snow ball fights that came quickly after. The ice storm that left me flat on my butt in front of Lowry Mall. My first college house parties, the craziness of East Campus, the excitement of a new start, new friends that quickly became family.
I was so fortunate to effortlessly find friends that I connected with so naturally and that I bonded with so completely. Even if I don't talk to some of them for ten years, when I do, we'll still have tons to talk about. I ache because I fear that I will never find this again. I may have wasted some of the most precious time in my life; my time with amazing people. Rich in culture, different opinions, different talents and passions, all coming together into something truly unique and wonderful. I want one more night in the dorm room. I want one more party at apartment 105 or the Chat. I want one more Bible study with amazing women who dared to care about the truth and finding it for themselves. I hate to look back with regret on times in my life, yet in this situation I just can't get past it. If I ever didn't give you enough time, I'm so sorry. If I never let you know how special your friendship is to me, know today. I miss you terribly. I love you and you will always be on my mind and hold your place in my heart. Today, and lately, it's been aching.

Ladies of FARC, the Chateau, and the Nancy Anger Bible study, this one is especially to you.

I might lose some friends over this

Or at least some of their respect. I voted for Bush. I am happy with the outcome of this election. Get the cross ready because for this I think my generation will crucify me.
I can't trust Jon Kerry, I just can't. I wanted to. I even tried for a while. I listened with an open mind and heart to what he had to say...I tried! I'm not a fan of every decision Bush has made, but I feel like even if he's made some mistakes, he is ultimately more genuine, real, and trustworthy. Kerry wanted to be everything for everybody, and I can't trust a person like that. Even if you disagree with Bush's positions, at least you know he'll stick to them and that he'll be the same person as president he was on the campaign trail. How was Kerry going to follow through on his big promises? It sounded good but he never had the plan, the resources, or even the support of the House and Senate that he would have needed to get it done. I feel like Kerry would withdraw from Iraq and leave the mess we've made unfinished and to me that is worse than going in there in the first place. I was not happy to go to war ( I don't know if I could ever be, even if it wasn't pre-emptive), but now that we're there we can't leave those poor civilians to clean up the ruins themselves.

The country is changing, the culture is changing. There aren't many concrete examples I can give you but to say that it's floating in the air and I think the next 20 years are going to be important, country changing, culture changing times. I hear songs of searching and emptiness on the pop radio. I hear spiritual themes bursting forth out of a culture of moral relativism and the emptiness it brings. People are realizing their lives are empty and the world is depraved and falling apart and I think they are looking for something to stand on. People are starving for truth, people are desperate to hear that everything will work out in the end, people want to know that life has a purpose, people want to believe that there is a God and He has not forsaken us. That's why I think Bush has been re-elected. He is a man who sticks by his convictions even when he is criticized for them. He is a man who is not afraid to claim his faith. These qualities encourage those Americans looking for something solid to believe in. Bush trusts himself to the one power in this world that actually can change things, and that's God. I respect him, and I just can't respect Kerry. I believe in absolute truth. I believe that what' s right for you might not be right for me, and it just plain might not be right! This doesn't make me close-minded, or naive, or judgmental. This means I have convictions, and I will stand by them as truth if I believe that God has laid them out as so. I believe that abortion is wrong. That alone makes me vote for Bush over Kerry. Kerry claims a Catholic background, but he doesn't stay true to his faith and convictions (if he really does have the Catholic convictions) and that to me shows he won't stay true to many of his "convictions" while he's in office.

I know it may seem bleak to those of you who despise or do not trust Bush. I can't imagine how I would be feeling if Kerry had won since I wanted Bush so badly. I'm sorry for those who are grieving, disappointed, maybe even hopeless for this country's future. All I can say is United we stand and Divided we fall. Even Kerry himself said that the country needs to heal, and the country needs to join together and a United front. We are all still Americans and those who would probably tell me I need to have a more open mind, may have to open there's wider now to try to trust Bush to lead us another four years. He's not going anywhere, so you might as well support him, at least with your prayers or well wishes. Again, I am really sorry for those of you hurting right now. I wish I could tell you it will all be okay, but I don't think that would console at the moment. I'll just say that I am confident that Bush is going to do everything in his power to make it okay, and lead our country with integrity and confidence and into unity in spirit if not unity in deeds. Today, I have hope for our Country's future. I hope others can too because it needs it.