The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival. - Aristotle
A lot has happened within the last week to make me stop and "contemplate" this life and all within it. First I went home. Ah, home. Bridgeton Missouri in it's 4th of July finest. I attended the parade in that abhoring heat not even so much for the parade, but just to soak up the traditions and memories I hold so dear from growing up. The parade is the same every year from the community band that plays so proudly (but not quite on tune) to the man dressed up as Elvis. He's there every year and I still haven't figured out why, however that doesn't make him any less endearing. Our neighbors are there, our friends are there, even Amy Bess, my grade school babysitter- the best in the world! It's just a wonderful event that brings a dying community together and gives us folks from the street once known as Selwyn Lane back together as true neighbors again. Damn the man, Bridgeton Forever!
After the parade we head over to Aunt Jeans and get some much needed cooling by hanging out in the pool and sipping on strawberry daquiris. Jason and my brothers turned a calm cabana atmosphere into the wave pool as they fought each other with styrophome noodles and had dunking wars. Good times for all. I found myself circled in the pool by my aunts and cousins talking about wedding plans. Have you picked out any flowers? Have you picked out any music? How are you going to do your hair, what kind of party favors should we have? And of course, my aunt Jean updates me on what she's already bought for my bridal shower that's still months away. Gotta love it.
July 5th we headed to Innsbrook to spend the weekend with friends who are as close as the family from the 4th. We had a great time on the lake, barbequing and hanging out on the deck, and watching an amazing fireworks show on the beach. It was the first time I've seen fireworks in 3 years and it was great! Jason and I had some very stimulating and quality conversation with my parents and the DeRousses that night after the fireworks and all the other family's departures. It's amazing how malt beverages and good company can make a good evening great!
Sunday we headed back to St. Louis and then had a late afternoon reunion party at the Oberle's. Of course it was all of the same people from the weekend, but why should the party have ended, right? Good times and truly great people. My dad said that there was no other people or place than he would rather be than with the company of our weekend. We are truly blessed with an amazing community of friends and family.
Jason and I left St. Louis at about 7:00 Sunday night and continued on into the night towards Nashville. We stopped somewhere in Kentucky at about 10pm to use the restroom and I took over the wheel. All was calm and we were pretty alone on the road. Suddenly from the side of the road runs out this dog. I'm not even sure it was a dog because it was really big, but it looked very dog-like. The "dog" ran out right into the middle of the highway. All I had time to say was "oh crap". I swerved my car to the left to miss the dog while simultaneously slamming on the breaks. My car started sliding diagonally down the highway. I was steering into the spin but getting nowhere. I turned the wheel into the opposite direction and Jason told me to take my foot off the brakes. At this the car did a complete 360 and I could see the cars' headlights from the other side of the highway in Jason's window. We flew into the grass median and I quickly steered us away from the oncoming traffic and slammed back on the breaks. With the friction of the grass we were able to stop in a matter of seconds. After we were stopped I put the car into park and sat there absolutely shocked. Jason said I love you and Praise God- poetry at this point. Somehow in all of the careening my headlights had turned off. I turned back on the lights and ten feet in front of me was a yellow diamond with orange reflection circles on it showing me where the next median began. We were within in 10 feet of what could have been a nightmare. Praise the Lord is right. His hand and grace has never been so evident in my life. Clearly He was guiding my car, he timed it so that there were no cars around us, He gave Jason the cool head to tell me what to do, I didn't feel an ounce of fear. God sent His angels to keep us safe- He still has plans for us on this earth! Praise Him and His amazing hands that give life and carry out His will. I am so blessed.
After that crazy near miss I got off at the next exit to check out my car. Amazingly there was absolutely no damage to my car. The only evidence of the event was the pungent odor of burnt rubber that was still streaming from my tires. Jason offered to drive the rest of the way home and I gladly accepted the offer. Life is so precious and it can all go away so fast! So much happened within a matter of seconds. Everything went into slow motion and even as I recount the event it seems as though it was a minute of pandimonium. In reality it was probably about 20 seconds tops. Within a heartbeat everything can change. I don't ever want to forget that and I want to make each day, each moment truly count.
Another chilling reminder of the fragility of life came yesterday. Setting up the restaraunt Monday morning Tim came up behind me and told me that a very special little boy in his life had died on Sunday. He had a collapsed lung and the 3 year-old fought for weeks, but sadly lost the battle. He would have been four this month. Tim has had a lot of tragedy in his life in the last 6 months and now I'm so worried about him. Jason and I took him out to dinner last night. He's heading to Michigan for the funeral on Thursday and then is heading down to Texas to spend a few weeks on his own in reflection, recovering and refreshing. I'm going to give him some scriptures to look at, because he can only find true comfort and strength in one place-His loving father who's hurting for him right now even more than I am.
These situations are so tough for me. I just want to take him into my arms and tell him everything will be okay, that this little boy is in an amazingly better place and that there is still hope and love for him in this world if he'll ask for it. If he'll ask for it. I want to fix it for him, to mend his heart that is beyond broken-it's crushed. But I can't. I can't fix it, and I can't promise what will come next and that it will be okay. I can only offer him the hope that I have found and pray that he too will find this peace that surpasses all understanding within this world.
On a joyful final note- the roommate situation has improved! Charlotte, Jason and I have had a couple wonderful conversations and there was even one night when the three of us roomies hung out for at least an hour! It feels to good to be at peace with her in my house- our house. Now that everything is good again though, they're both leaving! Rachel is moving back home to Washington for a few months because she lost her job and needs to make some money to get back ahead of the game. She's leaving Sunday and I'm going to miss her a lot. Charlotte has found a new apartment because she was only staying for the summer. She's already begun moving stuff into the new place, and soon she will take her bed(the one I've been sleeping on!) luckily, Rachel is leaving her bed. A new girl, Mary Claire, will be moving in at the end of July. Potentially I'll have the entire place to myself for a couple weeks! Good times.
This has been an incredibly long and eventful blog and for reading this far I commend you! Live each day to the fullest and until the next time...
