And Here We Go...

Here I am, back in Columbia and already in the thick of it. I think that every semester I have to go back to classes it takes me a little bit longer each time to get back into the groove. I think each time I'm faced with a syllabus I just don't want to think about how this course work is going to take over my life, especially when it's material I really don't care about. This being my last semester, and anticipating my marriage and graduation, and being apart from Jason again, has made it by far the hardest one to accept and to move forward with. The first week of classes I believe I was in complete denial that all of these proffessor's assignments really pertained to me. Not me, I have too many other things to worry about! This week has been more of a general accpetance of my reality and figuring out how I'm going to deal with it. I went running on Tuesday and used that time to tell God how there's no way I can handle all that's on my plate this semester. He responded. I got a letter from the college of education telling me I didn't need one of my classes to graduate. This class happened to be the hardest one on my schedule. The deal was that I only needed 1 hour of credit and not three. So, I promptly dropped my overwhelming, 5 book course and replaced it with a simple one hour, five-week long Art History class studying Michelangelo. Woohoo! Now I can handle this semester! There's still that pesky independent study class that I was going to so diligently complete this summer. Ha! What was I thinking? I have to have the course completed by November 10th. Nothing like a true deadline to motivate you! So, I feel like I can handle the semester now, and I'm facing up to my reality. However, it doesn't keep me from dreaming of what lies ahead in 4 months and 3 days.

Speaking of the event in 4 months and 3 days, last weekend in good 'ol San Angelo Texas there was a big fat Texas style engagement party for Jason and I. It was so, so much fun. The highlights for me were meeting all of the Wilson's wonderful friends and dancing with Jason to the fabulous sounds of the 12-peice mariache band that was hired to play for the occasion. They were awesome and it was so much fun! We were given so many gifts that we had registered for and so many good wishes and reassurances of what a wonderful family I am marrying into. It really couldn't have gone any better! Jason's good friend Cody was able to come into town for the party from Austin and I think it was really cool for him to spend some quality time with him. I tried to give them their time together but it did make the weekend a little hard in that Jason and I really didn't get to spend much time together. It's okay, I had prepared myself for this occurence. In 4 months he's mine! I'll get to see him every day! I can't wait. Even though it's incredibly hard being apart again (the hardest it's ever been) it gives me amazing perspective on just how much I do love him and how right it is that we are getting married. Life is just not as sweet without him to share every day with. So, once again, sweet perspective brought through bitter circumstances. That's how life goes.

I want to appreciate every day that I spend here. I want to spend purposeful time with those around me that I truly care about so much. Yet, I want to get away at every opportunity that arises. I don't quite understand it. I think it's a defensive separation from this place so when I leave it for good it's a celebration. The only way that can truly happen though is if I've made the most of my time here. No regrets. No people I really wish I had spent more time with instead of going to Nashville at every opportunity. Is it possible, this balance between romantic love and the love of my friends? I don't know, I guess I'm just going to try. Life is so in depth, so many layers, so much into the making of each person's experiences and opinions and perspectives and purpose. I can't quite wrap my mind around it. I guess I just want to be a part of as many layers as I can. And so I continue each day, striving to make it count, to make it matter, to make it last, to make a difference that's real and impactful. It's my quest and my mission yet I know I can't do it alone. Only with the Lord at my side will any day, any relationship, any investment truly matter and only through him will I survive it all. Here I go...

Happy Birthday Grandpa!
Today is my grandpa Nester's 79th birthday and I just wanted to give a shout out to him on his special day! My grandpa is an extremely generous man who has been one of the cornerstones of my life growing up and a huge part of my entire family still today. I am so thankful to have had him involved so deeply in mine and my siblings' lives from attending sports games to choir concerts it has always meant a lot that he cares so much. He reads this blog all the time and I just wanted to let him know through this outlet how special he is and to let anyone else who is reading this know what a great man and grandfather Norval Nester is. I love you grandpa.

"You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone" - Joni Mitchell

It's the first week of school. Here comes the predicted statement of "I miss Jason" because I do, horribly. Luckily we are spending the weekend together in Texas where his parents are throwing us an engagement party. It should be a lot of fun and a great quick escape from the reality of syllabi and looming deadlines that are already swirling in my head and making my stomache flutter. It's great to be back in columbia living with my friends. I really did miss them and having them to share life with. I'm excited about the topics of my classes- not the work required however- but it gives me great motivation and inspiration that this is my last semester of college and after this I can choose to never sit in a classroom again if I so desire. For some reason that's empowering to me. Coming to college was definitely a choice and one I made eagerly and willingly. However, I also knew if I wanted to be taken seriously in the world and to open lots of doors and opportunities, I needed a degree. So I guess it's just empowering to know that I'll now have that degree and I don't necessarily need another one to do things of importance in the world. But I digress.
It's bitersweet being here and I won't lie- I'm not thrilled to death. I'm glad it's only 15 weeks, yet it's also startling to realize that after those short weeks a huge chapter of my life is over and it leads to the biggest plunge of my life-marriage. I'm excited about it but it's also hitting me what a large plunge it is, so I'm glad to have 4 more months to prepare myself and this painful time apart to give me the perspective of just how right it is that I'm marrying this man. With college, with Jason, with singlehood, with deep friendships and little joys like your computer working- you don't know what you've got till it's gone. Until next time....

Another Ending

Well, this is it. Tomorrow I move all my stuff back to Columbia MO. I'm really looking forward to living with my friends again. The roomate's of this summer have been many and difficult, so I'm ready for the familiar and the wonderful! I will be back in Nashville briefly this weekend to do my checkout scuba dive and grab a cup of joe with a friend, and then Sunday night it's Radiohead in St. Louis followed by class on Monday at 1pm. Man this summer flew by fast.

Jason and I went apartment hunting yesterday and today and I'm excited to say we found an awesome apartment complex with two buildings. Since we're looking now and putting ourselves on the top of the list for January the woman has guaranteed us we'll have an apartment in this complex. We are really excited. It's two great buildings, one built in 1929 and one in 1919. Hard wood floors, vaulted ceilings, they're just perfect, and even within our budget! It's really hitting me that I'm getting married now. It's less than five months away, the dresses are being made, the floral plans have been gathered, hotel rooms blocked, the honeymoon suite at the Ritz, the honeymoon and my scuba certification. It's all really coming together. I'm really excited-I'm ready.

Even though I'm excited and ready, I'm still thankful for these last few months ahead to enjoy my girlfriends, to enjoy being single just a little longer, to get some awesome pre-marital counseling, and to daily give this all over to God and pray for His grace in my life and in our married life to come. Sometimes I can't help thinking wow, we're so young. But, when you know you've found the right person why does it matter how old you are when you've found them? God has a purpose for us, I'm sure of it. What that is lies yet to be determined, but we'll find it day to day, together. I feel like I'm giving up a lot by saying goodbye to being single so young, but I'm doing it because of the certainty that I'm gaining so much more. I've been given an incredible partner to explore with, to dream with, to succeed and to fail with. To love, to cherish, to hold and protect, to serve and to share with, to truly live with. What an amazing blessing, and we're so young! We're so blessed. Sometimes it brings a tear to my eye.
Well, anyway, I'm leaving tomorrow and I leave with excitement towards what's ahead. Even though I want to be married today to move into our cute new apartment and start my life permanently here, I'm still so excited about the lingering days of my singleness, living with five of my best friends and writing the final chapter on my college career. Pretty exciting stuff. I'm ready for it.

Almost Over

Almost Over

The summer is quickly winding down, as I knew it would. Tomorrow is my last day at Ted's Montana Grill and honestly, I am thrilled. I am done with burgers and fries and praying for big tips. Unfortunately, financially Ted's did not provide all I had hoped for. I think after all is said and done I'll have enough to pay September's rent in Columbia, but I was hoping for October, November and December too. So, my dream of not working my last semester of college will remain simply that, a dream. I've gotten the wheels turning on what kind of job I can fit into this crazy semester. I'm sure God will provide.
I had my brother and sister here last week. We had a lot of fun, but now I want to wait even longer to have kids! I start the pill on Sunday and it couldn't come a moment sooner. Come January I want absolutely no possibility of babies!!!!! Ah!
I'm going into the studio on Monday. A real studio, with $20,000 dollar microphones. This is our big chance! I'm praying!
There's not much more to say. School is only like two weeks away. Until then I have scuba lessons, a wedding in KC and a Radiohead concert (woohoo!) Then it will be blogs of longing for the man I must leave behind here in nashville, along with some other longings such as I wish the relationships of college could go on forever unchanged, but I know a big change is quickly approaching and man I want it to be January 9th! Until next time...