10.10.2004

An explanation of sorts

For those of you who read this last blog, I feel I owe you an apology. It was pathetic and rather unexplained blahness. Has anyone else ever had a point in their life where they feel like things are going okay, yet they're not going anywhere? My last blog came as a result of frustrations. The move to St. Louis has been really good. We have a good place to live, we're working for good people, the neighborhood is beautiful- especially with the leaves beginning to change. I started my new job this week as the administrative assistant for the Center for Biblical Counseling and Education. I wasn't all that excited about being a secretary before I started, but this week I was pleasantly surprised and relieved to find that I enjoyed myself every day. Just about every counselor there let me know how glad they were to have me. Their last secretary quit suddenly about a month ago and it left everyone scrambling around to pick up the pieces falling that she usually took care of. It's great to be in a place where you are truly needed, and appreciated. I can do my job every day knowing that even if it is a mundane task, I am contributing to a great ministry and freeing these counselors and mediators up to do some very meaningful and life changing work. It's cool.
So I guess all of this focus on the positive hasn't explained the pissy blog entry. Basically, I'm feeling frustrated with life at the moment. I feel a lack of direction. It's not my life ambition to be a secretary, even though at the moment it works out wonderfully. And then there's Jason, who hasn't been able to find a job yet. It's really hard because when you're searching for a real job, you don't want to go get a blow off job just in case an interview finally works out. It's hard to put time and energy into finding a job when you're already working one, that you probably don't like. Jason has had some good contacts given to him here, contacts that seemed promising. But, so far, nada. One man told him he would love to hire him, but his small company didn't have the extra funds to do so. He's going to use him on a production by production basis, which is good, but not something to get up and do every day. I can tell that jason is getting frustrated and restless, which makes me frustrated and restless.
We have been fortunate to be given a dog sitting position with the next door neighbors that pays $30 a day to play with and take care of Tank the labrador retriever. This does include getting jumped on and slobbered to death by the 100lb tub-o-fun, but it's well worth it. This has given Jason a kind of job, and then there are the kids in the afternoon. But like me, he's looking for more than child care and dog sitting.

So, I'm feeling a bit blah and frustrated lately. Nothing to really worry about, yet enough to toss and turn over every now and then instead of sleeping. We have had one fabulous saving grace lately, and that is video on demand. We can access the entire HBO library and are almost finished with season six of Sex and the City. We have thoroughly enjoyed these ladies lives and can never watch less than two episodes at a time. So, when life gets rough, at least there are more fun and exciting lives to watch on tv! This too shall pass, I know it will. I'm ready for something real.

1 comment:

Myndi said...

Nat, all I can say is it's okay and I feel your pain. There are days when we ask ourselves, what am I doing? But remember this, no job is final, everything is experience, take everything as a learning experience. We have years ahead of us to work, try different things. Your job never defines who you are inside. Your co-workers are fortunate to have such a positive life force in their presence. Tell Jason hi. I miss you, let's catch up soon! -Much Love...