Spare Time

I'm sitting here in my new living room with spare time. I'm not sure how I've acquired it, but I have some and I'm choosing to blog. A good friend of mine recently mentioned that her relationship with her blog began even before her relationship with her husband. I've had this blog a really long time as well. At one point I actually blogged consistently, and many times it was about at least mildly interesting things. You can look in my archives from like, 2003, if you don't believe me. The fact that I have archives that old is a bit ridiculous.

Anyway, my point? Lately, this stupid blog is just another thing in my life that I can look at and feel like a failure. Everyone else seems to find time to blog about incredible creative and intersting things, and post pictures and valuable information like price books, or even just use it successfully as a place to vent and document their life. A very wise friend of mine listened as I cried on the phone with her yesterday and asked me to write down all of the expectations I have of myself. As I began writing I couldn't believe how easily I filled two pages. I'm realizing that I am literally expecting myself to be perfect, and guess what, it's not going very well!

So, from now on, I'd like to use this blog as a place to process a lot of overwhelming things in my life right now - like my mom having cancer, my 10 month old still not sleeping through the night, a new house we moved into a week ago, trying to live without cable! - and no longer look at it as another thing on my list of things to do, but rather as what it used to be, an outlet, a place to be creative, a tool I use on my terms.

So, if anyone even reads this blog anymore, that's what I'm trying to do now!